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Bruins re-NEU hopes for bowl, bowl Dawgs over
Malamute, 16 November 2008

Coming into town a scoundrel, Rick Neuheisel left town a gracious winner, as his UCLA Bruins beat the Washington Huskies, 27-7, before an announced crowd of 59,738 at Husky Stadium.

UCLA, 4-6 on the season, kept its bowl hopes alive, needing six wins to get to a bowl, with two games left. With it bowl hopes long since dashed, Washington (0-10) didn't even put up a semblance of a fight in vying for its first win of the season.

Washington accumulated 135 yards of total offense. Its two quarterbacks, Ronnie Fouch and Tayor Bean, threw a combined 24 passes, completing 7 for 39 yards while surrendering 3 picks. That results in a passing-efficiency rating of 17.82. UW gained 96 yards on the ground, led by Brandon Johnson who rushed 20 times for 75 yards.

The Dawgs turned the ball over 5 times. The second half was especially anemic, where the Huskies gained 35 total yards and posted just two first downs.

After the game, Senior DE Johnie Kirton said, "I'll bleed purple and gold until I die." Kirton made one of the great plays of the season when he ran down USC's C. J. Gable from behind two weeks ago. Over his career at Washington, Kirton has gone from RB to TE to DE.  

Its last home game of this season, Washington posted its first winless season at Husky Stadium in its 88 year history. UW has lost 12 straight games, dating back to last season.

UW needs to schedule some patsies like the Bremerton Sailors. Legendary coach Gil Dobie sunk the Sailors' ship in 1912, 55-0. (*)

UW will play for the worst-team-in-the-country award next week, competing against WSU (1-10) in the "SAP-ple" Cup.

---------

(*) Gilmour "Gil" Dobie, the "Sad Scot," coached at the University of Washington from 1908 until 1916. No, his teams weren't called the "Sun Dodgers," though the pessimistic Dobie would have loved that handle. Thirty of the games Dobie either won or tied were against teams that are of FBS caliber today, e. g., Oregon and Cal. I'd take 27-0-3 right now.

Now for Neuheisel's story at Washington.

The Actors: Many fans blame Neuheisel for Washington's collapse, while a good number take the opposite position, blaming Washington for Neuheisel's collapse. In reality, the plot centers around Rick, the media, the NCAA and UW administration, all big players in the implosion of Washington football.

The Plot: It seems Rick's lack of contriteness for his secondary rules violations at Colorado irks the American Football Coaches Association. That and a neighborhood betting pool apparently spurs its big brother, the NCAA, into action. Its botched vendetta costs itself $2.5 million and Washington its football future. An incompetent UW administration doesn't help matters, and the cost to the athletic department is approximately $2.2 million.

As for his part, Rick is tricked twice into misrepresenting the truth, which gives UW AD Barbara Hedges cause to fire him. The trickery is one for the books, while the "lying" has mitigating factors tied to four vendettas.

The sound of black helicopters whirl overhead, while the music from Twilight Zone plays in the background. Meanwhile the Seattle sports scene continues to rupture as the Sonics leave town and the Washington state legislature twiddles it thumbs, leaving Husky Stadium to rot and endanger the health of its fans.

Victims of the slow rupture, Tyrone Willingham and the cherished memory of the late Curtis Williams are hung out to dry, and people wonder why FBS football only has four black coaches left. Duh.

The ongoing ending: Since Neuheisel leaves Washington, it suffers 6-straight non-winning seasons and goes18-51. Neuheisel is 33-16 at Washington. He wins the 2001 Rose Bowl against Purdue, and his team finishes third in the nation that year. Neuheisel refuses to talk to The Seattle Times for several years after his firing in 2003.

The coaching search:

A halftime interview with Washington's AD Scott Woodward implied the Huskies may be looking for a hard-nosed, defensive-minded coach to replace lame-duck coach Tyrone Willingham, either a head coach or a defensive coordinator. He didn't rule out either type.

Let's see. How about these defensive coordinators: Brent Venables (Oklahoma), Will Muschamp (Texas), and Bob Gregory (Cal)? And then there is O/C Dave Christensen (Missouri), who has UW ties? Throw in head coach Jim Harbaugh of Stanford and possibly Chris Petersen of Boise State and UW has a nice set of coaches to pick from. One of my favorites for the job, Lane Kiffin, is most likely a long shot, as is Jim Mora (Seahawks), who carries even longer odds.

Woodward would love to hire someone who will have the impact that Nick Saban had after Mark Emmert hired him to coach LSU in 2000, when Emmert was its Chancellor.

Woodward indicated Washington is in the early stage of its coaching search.

Washington's stats are horrifying. Check them out on the NCAA website.

A parody on those stats:

Scott Woodward on the phone: “Hey, coach, have I got a job for you. How would you like to coach the Washington Huskies next season and, ahem, for the next four, at three-mill-per-year guaranteed?”

Entrenched coach (e.g., Mike Leech, Texas Tech): “Where’s the cabbage coming from?”

SW: “You’ll be the highest paid state employee, although, ahem, you’ll be paid entirely out of the athletic fund. We have to say ‘state employee,’ so Jim Moore will give us reasonably good copy.”

Coach:  “Who the heck is Jim Moore?”

SW: “An APR-challenged Coug, but really no problem. You'll love the big oaf.” Thiel's the problem, he thinks.

Coach: “So, if it’s public money I will be paid from, why won’t your state legislature cough up the tax money for the stadium remodel?”

SW: “Good question.”

Coach: "So, what about the refurbishment, its worst-case scenario?"

SW: "We can always scrap the stadium and move to Qwest Field. Don't tell anyone I told you that."

Coach: ” Let’s see; you’re 0-10 on the season, Scott?”

SW: “Yep.”

Coach: “Is there any hope of a fast rebuild, say in a year or two?”

SW: “Yep.”

Coach: “Let me check the NCAA stats for Washington. Hold on. Good lord. How much are you offering? Never mind.” Click

SW: "Hello, hello."

 

Team 1 2 3 4 Total
UCLA 7 10 0 10 27
UW 7 0 0 0 7


Time Team How Player (s) Score
1st qtr        
8:53 UCLA TD Derrick Coleman 11-yard run. Kai Forbath PAT. UCLA, 7-0
0:44 UW TD Brandon Johnson 7-yard run; Ryan Perkins kick. Tie, 7-7
2nd qtr
11:57 UCLA TD Kahlil Bell 1-yard run; Forbath kick. UCLA 14-7
4:53 UCLA FG Forbath 49-yard boot. UCLA 17-7
4th qtr
14:56 UCLA TD Bell 1-yard run; Forbath kick. UCLA, 24-7
9:36 UCLA FG Forbath 18-yard boot. UCLA, 27-7

 

Statistic UCLA UW
Total First Downs 20 10
  Rushing 11 8
  Passing 7 2
  Penalty 2 0
Total Net Yards 292 135
Net Yards Passing 135 39
Net Yards Rushing 157 96
Completions-att-int 13-22-3 7-24-3
Punts, yards, average 3-122; 40.7 5-202; 40.4
Sacks by (number, yards) 3-27 3-11
Kickoff Returns: number, yds, tds 1-27-0 6-154-0
Punt returns: number, yds, tds 4-42-0 2-0-0
Kickoff Yards 6-361 2-135
Touchbacks (kickoffs) 0 1
Interception returns: no., yds, tds 3-46-0 3-36-0
Penalties, no., Yards 4-35 6-55
Fumbles: number/lost 1-0 2-2
Time of Possession  36:52 23:08

Passing cmp att yds tds int
UCLA          
Kevin Craft 13 22 135 0 3
           
           
Washington          
Ronnie Fouch 7 22 39 0 2
Taylor Bean 0 2 0 0 1
           
Bruins' Rushing No. Yds TDs Long  
Kahlil Bell 25 97 2 17  
Derrick Coleman 10 42 1 13  
Terrence Austin 2 20 0 13  
Aundre Dean 3 9 0 7  
Raymond Carter 4 7 0 9  
Domini Johnson 1 -2 0 0  
Team 1 -4 0 0  
Kevin Craft 4 -12 0 3  
           
Washington Rushing No. yds tds long
Terrance Dailey 1 6 0 6  
Ronnie Fouch 5 -22 0 7  
Cody Bruns 1 12 0 12  
D'Andre Goodwin 3 25 0 11  
Brandon Johnson 20 75 1 10  
           
UCLA Pass Receiving No. yds tds long
Dominick Johnson 4 33 0 12
Ryan Moya 3 38 0 19  
Nelson Rosario 2 30 0 21  
Gavin Ketchum 2 24 0 13  
Cory Harkey 1 6 0 6  
Terrence Austing 1 4 0 4  
           
           
Washington Pass Rec. No. yds tds long
D'Andre Goodwin 4 13 0 8  
Devin Aguilar 1 13 0 13  
Jermaine Kearse 1 12 0 12  
Paul Homer 1 1 0 1  
           
Punting punts yds long Avg
UCLA        
Aaron Perez 3 122 57 40.7
           
Washington          
   
Jared Ballman 5 202 51 40.4  
Attendance: 59,738          

Richard Linde, aka Malamute can be reached at malamute@4malamute.com

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