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Runnin’ with the Pac
Or how not to lie to the media
By: Lotti Bull, 14 February 2003

How not to lie to the media

Lotti Bull is back from a successful run at the Thespian Casino in Las Vegas, where she played the role of Lady Macbeth.

No, she doesn't have a hand-washing compulsion, but she's been  privy to some new courses being taught at Pac-10 schools and media outlets and would like to share them with us.  

Dear Mal,

From what I hear, the following instructors are teaching night courses at various Pac-10 institutions and their media outlets. The school or outlet, the course name and instructor are listed below. If your readers would like to enroll in one of the courses, Mal, have them send me an email; my address is:  (BullLotti@fillnite.com).

Place Course Instructor
UCLA How to park an SUV in a handicapped parking space DeShaun Foster and Cade McNown
UW How to interview for another job and keep it on the QT Rick Neuheisel
Seattle P-I How to eavesdrop on a celebrity's cell phone conversation in an airport John Levesque
UW How not to lie to the media Rick Neuheisel
UW How to apologize for a lie Rick Neuheisel
UW How to accept an apology for a lie Barbara Hedges
Seattle P-I How to mix metaphors Art Thiel
Seattle P-I How to gloat about a scoop and remain humble Staff
realdawg.com How to get a scoop Ruth Robbins
Seattle Times How to write schmooze editorials Anonymous
WSU How to add sour grapes to an apple bowl Mike Price
Oregon How to recruit negatively using a Jumbotron Bill Moos
UW How to count to eleven Coaching Staff
UCLA How to comb your hair like Pat Riley Steve Lavin
Arizona How to comb your hair and not look like Pat Riley Lute Olson
UW How to comb your hair Paul Arnold and Don King
WSU How to throw a lateral pass and claim it was a forward pass Mike Price
Arizona How to keep your football players happy John Mackovic
OSU Football is a gentlemen's game Dennis Erickson
UCLA How to keep your job Bob Toledo
UW How to pronounce names, syllable by syllable Tuiaualuma Nelson Alailefaleula.
Oregon How to design a football uniform Phil Knight and Darth Vador
UW How to look like Air Jordan when you're 5-foot-9 Nate Robinson
UW How to get a nose job after telling a lie. Pinocchio

Ciao, Lotti


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