About This Site
10 Reasons You
Should Really Dislike the UCLA Bruins
By Casey Anderson,
Posted 16 September 2004
Hate is a strong
word. I refuse to throw the word "hate" around lightly. Football is only
a game, after
all. This is why I reserve the word "hate" for only the Cougars and Ducks.
However, I've always wondered why there seems to be
very little animosity towards the UCLA Bruins
from Husky fans. For whatever reason, the UCLA Bruins don't seem to stir up
much passion from the hearts and minds of the Montlake faithful. Now, I'm not
talking about throw-a-chair-at-a-Bruin-fan's-girlfriend nose-breaking type
animosity. There's no place for that in organized sports (unless
you consider the WWE a sport
-- I don't). But,
all disclaimers aside, I'd have to say that UCLA
ought to be right up there on any discriminating
Husky fan's Dawg-doo-list. Here’s why:
1. The Bruins
Lead the Series 33-28-2. In 1996, the
series was tied at 27-27-2. Since then, the
Bruins have opened a family-sized can of
whoopin' on the Dawgs, going 6-1 in the last
7 games. This aggression will not stand, man.
2. The Wrong
Sport. The only other Pac-10 school with
a winning record versus the Huskies is, of
course, the USC Trojans. USC has been to the Rose Bowl nearly 30 times, has 4
AP and a couple of Coach's
Poll National Championships, and is one of the most
successful and dominant programs in college
football history. UCLA, on the other hand, has 11
men's national titles...in basketball. They're a
basketball school! No basketball school should have
a winning record against the Dawgs!
What’s next, are we going to let the Indiana
Hoosiers beat us now?! (Couldn't resist the
Duck potshot, sorry…no I’m not.)
Blue Uniforms. There is positively
nothing more namby-pamby in all of football
than UCLA's uniforms. Sure, Oregon’s are
uglier, and the Miami Dolphins are pretty weak, but the Bruins look like they
should be figure skating. Actually, I bet
they don't even call them uniforms; they
probably refer to them as "outfits". Their
cheerleaders do look nice in them, however.
Year's Second Half Debacle.
Forget history. Look at the last time the
Huskies and Bruins met. The Dawgs gave up a
Husky record 39 second-half points to the Powder Blue Boys.
I don’t want to write anything more about this. I
tailback went crazy in the 2001 meeting, rushing for
301 yards against the then defending Rose Bowl
Champion Huskies. Foster ran around, through, and
over a Dawg D that made him look like a shoe-in
for the Heisman Trophy. In 3 years with the
Carolina Panthers, Mr. Foster has run for a
grand total of 441 yards and 0 touchdowns.
II. Because it's really fun to say, "Son
of Dorrell, kneel before Zod!"
Neuheisel. A gambler with a coaching
problem, Slick Rick was and always will be a
Powder Blue Golden Boy. While I still maintain that Coach Neu may have been the
recipient of yet another raw deal straight from the
Hero of Hypocrisy also known as Myles
Brand, there is
no doubt that the Washington program suffered more than its share of problems
under Neuheisel. And with a lawsuit on the horizon, the ride ain't over yet.
At least he had the decency to argue with UCLA's
then head coach Bob Toledo. See, even Rick
Neuhiesel knows that UCLA is a school of punks!
Walton. Shut up.
Hollywood. Let's face it, UCLA is the
most "Hollywood" football team in the universe.
They have a 91,000 seat stadium that never sees
capacity unless it happens to be January 1st,
when the Bruins are enjoying the game on TV. Poster boy Troy Aikman went on
to quarterback one of the most Hollywood NFL teams
of all-time. Coincidence? I think not. The
Bruins are the
franchise for LA Lakers fans; when they're
winning, the alums are front and center on
the 50-yard line in their Ray-bans, a la Jack Nicholson. When they're losing,
Cal State Fullerton's traveling fans dwarf
the Bruin faithful. I wonder who had the lower average attendance, last year’s
Bruins, or the Nick Van Exel/Elden Campbell era Lakers.
How ironic that perhaps the most clutch basketball player in
NBA history, Reggie Miller, hails from a school
whose football team perennially folds faster
than a Cougar fan's tailgating chair after an Apple Cup game. Todd Turner would
do well to realize that playing UCLA in the
month of November is like betting on the aforementioned Mr.
Miller to drain the winning 3-ball at the buzzer
versus the Knicks; a sure thing. No respect
for teams that can't turn it up when the pressure's on. U-C-L-A FOLD FOLD
And here’s to
hoping the Bruins do exactly that come Saturday.
If you find yourself feeling at all apathetic
towards the hated…oops…extremely disliked Powder Blue
Hollywood Basketball Choke Artists this weekend, do
everything in your power to remember that if it wasn’t for UCLA,
we’d have to try to make up a rivalry with
a team that has tree for a mascot.