Groinman's tribute to Sarge Morrison
This is Officer Lee Groinman,
That’s right, one of
Seattle’s Most Confused...
When I finally made it to
bed last Sunday night, right around Monday AM, I found that I still had at
least two more hours of darkness left to spare...
Not bad, considerin’ how
it’s still daylight savin’s time and all...
Try as I might, there was
still no sleep for nobody named Groinman, not tonight anyway, the rest of the
week would remain in question...
The ‘dark cloud.’
That damned dark cloud had
settled in like a low-pressure system off Puget Sound, complete with the
stench of a Tacoma low tide...
Being born and raised up in
I know the feelin’, complete
with all the trimmings...all to well....
The ‘cloud’ always comes
complete with a mega dose of anxiety, guilt, and a cup of suspicion. But then
again, you’ve got to add the three layers of second guessing...
Durin’ the night, you may
not get real nightmares, you just might get those stress-induced type dreams,
ya’ know, like the ones when you’re gettin’ married while you just happen to
be bare-assed naked and your
momma, your birth momma, the
one named Edith is conductin’
And you still can’t find
that damn High School Diploma..
Never mind finding the car
keys, and whose underwear is
Once awake, you jump at a
phone call, you suspect everyone, you sit with your back to the corner, keepin’
escape routes in mind...
A cell phone call set on
‘vibrate’ may become ‘plausible excuse’ In a King County Court of Law...
I’ll keep that in mind...
But how I do digress, and
how I do need to confess.
So that ‘dark cloud’ may now
We opened up with Air Force,
as you all know. For that game, I wrote a story about my step-boy Ben, going
down to New Orleans, to clean up after Hurricane Katrina with his “Capt.
Now Ben did get down there
to Norleans, he’s still there, and still waitin’ for Chee-Toos... (sp)
Now for the confession, here
“Captain Morrison” was never
in the Air Force, nor was he a Captain. And he wasn’t in New Orleans, nor was
he going there.
“Capt. Morrison” was
actually a Sarge. A Sgt. in the Army, a medic who served with my wife Gloria,
the wife who comes complete with the Army boots....
Sarge Morrison always
grumbled about not gettin’ his ‘shot’ at the war in Kuwait.
Disgruntled, he left the
Army in 1995 with 17 thousand dollars and with his benefits lowered. He took a
job in the Post Office.
I once saw Sarge Morrison in
Albertson’s. “Sarge” I yells out, “So how do you like life at the Post Office,
life as a man on your own?”
“Boring, Lee, I’ll tell ya’
this Lee, it’s boring as dried butt-putty...”
Oh that colorful Sarge....
Sometimes I use names and
titles, then I shuffle them up a bit to protect the innocent, to point blame
at the guilty, while at the same time making fun at the rest...
I used the name “Captain
Morrison” in the Air Force story I wrote for the opener a while back as an
unknowingly respect for the real “Sarge Morrison” who served in the Army.
Sarge Morrison (Larry) used
to house sit, and dog sit our dogs Rocky and Bud, back just a few years ago...
Sarge Morrison wouldn’t even
charge for the detail. In fact he would do it with glee! He would however,
accept a special inducement....
“A 6-Pack of Bud-Light
(16oz, only) with a bag of “Pig Lips and Butts!!”
(Fried pork rinds and
butts, some with lips)
A poor boy from Kentucky,
Sarge Morrison didn’t even have a pair of shoes until his enlistment in the
Now he enjoys “pig lips and
Could life ever be better?
Morrison used to love to
tell stories about his Ol’ Grand-Dad, “Grampa Morrison” and Grampa’s bee
“Now Grampa Morrison didn’t
have skin, he had
So did you Sarge, so did
You just didn’t
“Sarge Larry Morrison” was
killed in Iraq this past Monday in a bomb blast.
His wife Becky, the United
States Army, and the Yakima Herald gave no more details, he was however with
the Marines at the time of his death. Interestin’...
I do believe “Sarge
Morrison” while not wanting to die, would prefer to go the way he did.
But I do know this... he
damn sure do misses his pretty red headed wife Becky!!!
That dark cloud came with
it’s warnin’... now that dark cloud has passed...
Larry is gone...but never to
I’m thinkin’ it’s about time
for somethin’ good to happen....
A 32 OZ CAN OF NOTRE DAME WHOOP-ASS!!
Now that just might punch my
And for Sarge Morrison?
He’d be smilin’!!
Snackin’ on “Pig Lips and
Sarge Morrison!! This Bud’s