One Big TicketOfficer Lee Groinman, 8 September 2006
is Officer Lee Groinman,
That’s right, I’m that reflective and
optimistic one, the one that predicted the 23-point victory against the
Spartans. But hey, a couple less turnovers in that first half, a few
less gift scores, and maybe another score by our boys and hey, I’ll take
My bookie buddies down in Reno weren’t
all that amused...
It was a strange day there last
Saturday. It all started with an early morning phone call. I’ve always
hated a day that starts with an early mornin’ phone disturbance, it’s
never good stuff. This time it’s my sidekick Deputy Mikey.
“Lee, can’t make the game, can you sell
“No I can’t sell your ticket! Who do
you think I am, Cal Worthington?”
“Cal’s dead ain’t he Lee? Anyway I got
a family funeral, it’s today, and I can’t change that.”
“That bites Mikey, but do what you
Folks should never die or get married
during football season, of course I did, got married that is in football
season, but I had the good sense to get hitched on a bye week. I suppose
you could get buried on a bye, but we don’t even have that option this
year. It makes ya ponder on what’s next, a game clock that doesn’t stop
This whole week has just been a never
endin’ soap opera. On Monday my dad, Pappy Groinman had open-heart
surgery. A 90 percent blockage deal, a walking time bomb he was. He’s
doing fine, but probably will miss a bunch of football games.
But hey, at least I got his parkin’
pass, saves me twenty clams a game!
So I got an extra ticket to move with
just 4 hours before kickoff. Thought I might call an old buddy, an old
football pal from the eighties, he once had season tickets then lost
interest and now I hadn’t seen him since my wedding day, oh so many
years ago, ah that Championship Season... Yeah maybe I’ll give Bryan a
call, wonder of wonders, he still had the same phone number.
“Bryan, got an extra ticket for the
game, you in?”
“I don’t know Lee, dang, I got a backed
“A backed up
SINK! You gonna let a backed
up SINK keep you from the GAME!”
“It’s the woman Lee, you know the
“I’ll be at the old Park & Ride in 90
minutes, be there! And oh Bryan, how did you know it was me on the
“You didn’t change your voice or
nothing, did you Lee?”
So I’m waitin’ at the Park & Ride off
405. Bryan’s late, my cell rings. It’s the wife Gloria, this can’t be
good, she’s got the house to herself and she’s callin’
Yup, this can’t be good...
“Lee, it’s Ben, he’s being deployed to
Iraq, what are we going to
Now Ben is my youngest step-boy. We
figured this day would come, but I suppose it’s always a bit of a
stunner when you get the news. But hey, it’s all part of the deal.
I’m really not liking the way this day
has got started, and Bryan is still not here. It’s nearing game time!
While I’m waitin’ for Bryan I thought
I’d open up the envelope with the parkin’ pass in it. What’s this?
I guess the Lord do have a sense of
Good thing I don’t fall for omens and
the like anymore...
We get to the parking lot with little
more than an hour before kickoff. Our tailgate is a complete flop. We
really need to tighten up our tailgaitin’ before Fresno State, but
that’s where you get the most improvement in your tailgate, between that
first and second game....
So we walk away with a win. It was
lookin’ like a Rick Neuheisel 4th quarter Mallox moment again
as we hold on late for the win. I’d hoped for more out of Reece and the
TE’s but maybe we were holding something back from Oklahoma.
Speakin’ of holdin’ come
on San Jose State! But if the refs ain’t callin’ it, well when in Rome do as
Now off course, we got our
TE’s in a health crisis! Johnnie Kirton needs to be the man.
Well after the game we had
a bit more time to relax and enjoy that perfect Seattle weather.
My buddy Fireman John has
us over to his truck.
“Well Lee, I still got
that ticket for Oklahoma, you in?”
“How much is the ticket
“It’s 67 bucks Lee, but
Lee, I gotta tell ya’ this. It’s one BIG
“I like how you talk
Did I happen to mention
that my step-boy Ben is stationed at Tinker Oklahoma?
Tinker Oklahoma and pink
My, I guess the Lord do
work in mysterious ways....
Meanwhile back at home, I
find myself doing what I do so very well...
“Now Gloria, Ben will be
fine, he’ll be back in no time, but Gloria, I’ve been thinkin’. I never
really had a chance to say good-bye to Ben when he shipped off to basic. Why
I was workin’ graveyard as I recall and I just never really had a chance to
have a good talk to him. It all happened so fast and after all, we were both
so stoked to finally get him out of the house...”
“What’s your point Lee,
you been doing your own thinking again? Out with IT!”
“Well I was thinkin’ that
I’d take a quick trip to Oklahoma, just to have a little man to man talk
with Ben, maybe take him out for his first beer, he’s 21 now isn’t he?”
“Lee, he’s 27 and doesn’t
“That’s right, he doesn’t
drink. How ‘bout girls, he like girls yet?”
“Well Gloria, I think
one of us should go, and I don’t
think you should go just comin’ off surgery and all, the plane ride would be
real tough on you Gloria...”
“Oh Lee, how sweet! I
think Ben would be so proud to see and talk with you!”
“That’s what I was thinkin’
Gloria, thinkin’ that I’d leave on Friday.”
“But what about the Husky
game Lee? Isn’t there a Husky game this week?”
“Ah don’t worry about that
Gloria, why it’s an away game anyway, and this is Ben we’re talkin’
I’m always amazed at how
things seem to just work out....
here I come, right back where I started from! Oh yeah!!
And do you think I’m going
there to see us lose?
I got a real good feelin’
here fella’s... That’s right!
It’s time to get even with
the bookies, but more importantly, it’s time to take a BIG GAME!
And this is a
I LIKE IT!
It’s gonna be close, a
real DAWG fight! Our boys
stuff the run and Reece has a wild day, not to mention Russo! Kenny James
has the game he’s dreamed about as our line opens some nice holes after
Oklahoma has gotten beat deep! Louis Rankin takes one
We take advantage of some
booming punts from Douglas for some sweet field position.
Peterson? Why he puts on his jersey the same way we do, one leg at a
Oh baby! I can smell the
barbequed pork ribs now!!
DAWGS 31 Oklahoma 28