This is Officer
maybe one thing we can all agree on. It just don’t get much worse
than this. Some of us just might be in different stages of angst
than some of our other cooler more level headed and mature fans such
Other fans maybe
experiencing that modern day phenom known as spontaneous combustion,
coming soon to a Husky fan near you!
Well one very
smart feller once said. “This too shall soon pass.” Then again the
Late Richard Pryor, while addressing the congregation of “The
Church of the What Be Happening Now” once asked. “How Long. How long
can this Bull-creep go on? How Long??”
Yes, there you
have it folks. How long? I want to say that this fear of winning
period came to an end against Arizona. The realist in me is not so
sure. These Washington Momentum Dodgers just bamboozle me to death.
I think every which way to lose a game has been discovered and honed
to a fine art by our Husky boys. Well come to think of it, we
haven’t been beat by a two-point safety, yet...
Yup, this has
been like a bad made-for-TV movie. You would have to follow a script
to lose like this. Maybe now is the hokey part where some
much-maligned Defensive Coordinator makes a win-one-for-the-Gipper
type speech and these Dawgs come up with five turnovers to match the
offense’s five turnovers, at least we’d have a draw here, giving
Perkins a shot for a game winning field goal.
the last time I was at Stanford was the tragic game where we lost
Curtis Williams, but came back on the heroics of Tui to win that
bizarre game in the steady and cold Stanford rain. How times have
changed, today we would find a way to give up the 17 points in the
final nine minutes, then ask ourselves why? Or maybe. HOW LONG??
The other day at
work I thought I’d pull a little trivia question on my buddy Earl,
the total sports geek. The wager would be Saturdays chow, our
pre-game meal, Jail-House Wet Meat Sandwiches. Earl can never refuse
them Wet Meat Sandwiches....
“Say Earl, who
was the Defensive Coordinator for Stanford when Tui brought the
Dawgs back in the rain for the big win in the fourth quarter?”
“You mean the
Curtis Williams game?”
“Yup, that game.”
“I dunno, I hate
“Groinman, I just
may kill you...”
Ya’ know. I hate
to play the blame game, but let’s get something fixed. I’m not
blaming Willingham, not too much anyway, but if Baer was gone next
week I wouldn’t let the screen door slam him in the ass, not too
hard anyway, not hard enough to draw blood...
We’re givin’ up
yards in chunks. Why not bring a blitz package every full moon or
so. It’s gotten to the point where opposing offensive coordinators
take the week off when preparing for the Dawgs. Just bring in a
“dink and dunk” passing package, throw in a run every fifth or sixth
play and put up a touchdown.
Then repeat at
I’m tryin’ not to
be so bitter, but dammit, I paid $3.52 for a gallon of diesel
yesterday, and that was a bargain, and I burn a bunch of
diesel for every home game, and I also burn a vacation day as I work
Saturdays. For all that burnin’ I just get tired of comin’ home, on
the return trip all burned up.
I suppose I’m one
of the luckier ones I guess. You see at work we have these programs
for the inmates. We have Life-Stressor programs, we have life-skills
programs, we have Anger Management programs, we have Alcoholic
Anonymous programs, we have Purpose-Driven life programs. We have
just about every type of self-help program there is!
I just might have
to set in on a couple of them programs, take your pick. Maybe me and
Earl could start up a “Husky-Fan” therapy program. We could get
Yeah this team
just seems to be in a funk. I’ve been playin’ some funk lately,
might just help the dawgs, couldn’t hurt, kinda’ like a blitz
package, yeah some Grand Funk Railroad. Mainly the old classic
“Mark, Don and Mel” album featuring “Inside Looking Out.” It’s kinda’
how I feel, and if things don’t turn around soon, “Inside Looking
Out” will be our dawgs in the dog house.
music, now I’ve always been a big Bob Seagar fan, I’ve seen him in
concert three times, and he doesn’t tour like he used to. But I had
to email Todd Turner the other day on this rumor about Bob Seagar
doing the half-time show during the Apple Cup. Now Bob commands big
bucks for his shows and It’ll drive me into one of our jail-house
programs if Bob Seagar comes out during the Apple Cup and belts out
this threesome, “I Feel Like a Number” “Against the Wind” and then
for the Grand Finale “Beautiful Loser.” Yeah I can hear ol’ Bob
“Yeah ya’ just
don’t need it all, ya’ just don’t need it all...
Don’t need it
HOW ‘BOUT JUST
A LITTLE BOB?
LIKE A WIN
IS THAT ASKING
STINKIN’ WIN NOW!!
Oh good DAWG
almighty! I may as well just enter my sorry ass in one of them
programs right NOW! Take your pick Dawgs! Name your poison...
Groinman’s tip of
the week: In my attempt to right what’s wrong, I have made the
biggest and baddest batch of Washington Dawg Breath Chili ever seen
by man. Come Saturday around game time, I’m gonna set this
huge black kettle of chili next to the ol’ TV. I’m gonna run
around the house seven times, just could be naked.... gonna grind up
some onions and cheese, stir that chili up with some greasy garlic
bread, then I’m gonna light up seven candles next to the kettle,
stave off evil football-spirits and spontaneous combustions that
What say you Kent
Baer? Got any better and brighter ideas?
DO YOU HEAR