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Go for four and shut your face

This is Officer Lee Groinman.

Life in general, ya’ know, for the past week or there abouts has been pretty darn good! I’m a’ startin’ to think that maybe those dark shadow days are slippin’ away like the sunset on a Halloween Eve.

I’m sittin’ here in my bunker, the basement of my cottage here in the sticks. I found a load of peach wood, three years aged. Paid not a dime for it, I torched up a fire in the ol’ used Avalon wood stove, the bunker now radiates in this essence of a Peach-wood type glow. My Alaskan Malamute pups, Eli and Elsie are rompin’ around in the O.K. Malamute Corral.

Elsie seems to be somewhat, well some might call it “horny” but for the polite folks on this board, let’s just say Elsie is in a, “interested state-of-mind”.

Dang, spent all those bucks on gettin’ that girl fixed and all, never did show her the damn receipt. That just could ‘splain a thing or two.

It’s really amazing to watch the communication that Man and Malamute can form in just a few short years...

Eli, my male Malamute is screamin’ at me thru the daylight basement windows,

“Dad! Cant ya’ just put a saddle on me, teach Elsie to ride like normal? Her toe-nails are sharp as picks, and she does more than scratch if you know what I mean!!”

My wife Gloria now enters my bunker, I’m watchin’ Fox NW, while readin’ the bitch board at Dawgman.com.

“Lee, you just go ahead and finish what you’re doing. I’ll just put on something more comfortable and I’ll go ahead and fix you your favorite dinner... 

Wet Meat sandwiches with salad and the tangy but creamy dressing?”

“Lee, is your beverage cold enough? I could fetch you a fresh one? And what is YOUR dog ELSIE DOING!!”

“And where did ELI find! THAT SADDLE!!”

Yup, Dawg fans, these are the DAWG DAYS of NOVEMBER!!

Unless, of course, you find your sorry and limp old ass is livin’ in King County...

In the Animal Kingdom, the weak and slow get picked off by the stronger and faster...

In King County, the weak and slow get into political office or just spew their nega-energy forces onto the Dawgman.com BITCH BOARDS!!

After last week’s convincing BIG “W” AT STANFORD!! Groinman here, just might have thought that a truce in the “hate-speech” just might take hold for a day or two...

Now, I know I tried to light a fire under Baer’s bare butt last week, and our “D” gave up nine points...

I can live with nine points and a nice win...

But I don’t live in King County...

What is it about King County?

For the past week my Sergeants and Corporals at the County slammer have had their panties and garter’s all tied into knots over the upcoming inspection of our facilities by the... OH MY GAWD ALMIGHTY!


Screw ‘em...

I’ve had a house full of residents workin’ their tails off to satisfy these “holier-than-thou” pompous butts from King County!!

Have they smelled their own HOUSE YET!!

No sir, they live in king county...

I don’t mean to paint all of King County with an evil brush, but it do smell like there’s a cancer there a-brewin’ and the stench is blowin’ from the arm-pit of King County. If you get my drift...

Maybe if the Dawgman message boards had a volunteer identifier:

1.    I live in King County, how about you!

2.    I live in King County, so who else matters?

3.    Race Bannon said it, that settle’s it, good enough for me...

4.    Race Bannon said it. Race sucks, how about you??

5.    Dick Baird said it. I’m really not sure. I don’t know Dick....

6.    I may live on the county line. Who wants to know? Did we win?

7.    Just fire the bastards. Has anybody seen my keys?

There, I think we all have purged ourselves now. We can continue to talk about how we hate Willingham, hate Baer, hate Bush, identify with conspiracy theories, or whatever, but can we just set it all aside for the next month and get on a roll here?

Good Dawg Almighty. This week is Oregon State! For years now, I’ve told you that my wife Gloria is a Beaver. I’ve had to put up with all things beaver this week! I’m used to her old standards, the Ginger Bread cookies in the shape of a beaver, the jell-o mold in the shape of Bucky the Beaver, but last night did in the deal.... 

Meat Loaf...in the shape of beaver...

But how I do digress...and pass the ketchup...

Last week we won good against the trees. Did it fell good or what? Or did that sweet smell of victory put a dent in some of your agendas?

As Taft might ask,


Take a moment from your precious “King County” life and think about it...

Running the table now is the deal. It’s no fantasy.

What could have been is over.

What can be is coming...

 Let’s let ‘er rip...



Groinman’s tip of the week: I have friends who live in King County. There are some good folks there, good fans. That being said, I’m going with the Super Nachos with a double layer of jalapenos with hot salsa...My pups favorite


Malamute can be reached at malamute@4malamute.com

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