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Like Paris in April, Eugene in November…

This is Officer Lee Groinman, that’s right Washington’s Most Flabbergasted Cop

Gotta love that word, flabbergasted. I suppose if you looked it up in the dictionary you’d see a picture of coach Sark and this year’s Husky team. You might also find the same picture besides the words lackluster, underachievers, malaise. But what ya’ gonna do?

Yup, I was flabbergasted at the way our boys played last Saturday night against the Men of Tree. I really thought our kids would play the way they did against the Men of Troy. But here we go again, doing my own thinkin’. The weather should have given me a clue, classic Stanford weather, power football weather. The rain really did us in. With Jake’s health, our receivers, the wet ball, and with the size and power of Stanford’s lines, both sides, we really needed a complete and perfect game.

Yeah, like that was gonna happen in that slop…

Sark keeps talkin’ about how the Husky Stadium is such an advantage, the crowd noise the weather. But yet we play sissy ball, the pass happy crap. We don’t have the players to play that style of ball, well, we used to, but seems they’ve kinda’ lost themselves lately. The problem is we don’t have the players to play power football either.

So what ya’ gonna do? We play the ‘mixed bag’ offense. Problem is, you gotta call a near perfect game and then execute.

Yeah, like that was gonna happen in that slop…

And what’s with the weather these days? I’ve seen more rain at Husky Stadium this year than any time in the last decade, combined. Are the Football Gods angry at us, or just confused? Do they still think we’re a power team? First we get this Larry Scott the Carpet Bagger, then the North/South abortion, now the UW administration is even more clueless. The parking is a cluster cluck, the crews working there are confused at best. And what’s up with the Officers of SPD these days?

Has the whole world gone nuts and left me here holdin’ the bag? But what really drains my noodle, is the effort and enthusiasm of this team, or the lack of either. Are the Gods to blame?

Did the Football Gods give me the shingles too? Holy crapes…

Well, the shingles are gone but the pills remain. Dr. Dennis ‘Chainsaw’ McCullough had loaded me up big time. Well, I’m still enjoyin’ that Cold from Hell, so I took some.

Now don’t go trying this at home folks, I’m a highly trained dude…but things are becomin’ a bit more in focus now, I can see clearly now…

Time and History comin’ together in an awkward sideways dance. It’s like they say, it’s like déjà-vu all over again. I’ve been here before. I’ve seen this before. It’s like we’re replaying the eighties. Not sure if big hair is to blame, but here it is, an Eighties redo.

You see, back in the 80’s the Washington teams would often come out draggin’ their dropper’s. Not sure why, but they often looked like they needed therapy, as in electro-shock. I remember certain years when Rick Fenney was healthy and the team was jacked in the tunnel, you could put the game down as a ‘W’. If not? A long day likely. Motivation has been an issue before, it will be again…

Not sure why. Something in the Seattle water? That nuke reactor on Montlake?

Maybe we should ask Don James…

The thing about the 80’s, they spawned the 90’s. We just gotta do it again.

When I was in my peak years, we’d train till we puked. That was a sign of effort, we’d puke, then keep going. It’s like Patton once said:

“When you find yourself in HELL, keep going!

This team needs someone to take charge. Jake’s not the guy, too nice. I’m talkin’ guys like Emtman. Kruetz, Olsen. Some War Dawgs. The rest will follow.

Lead, follow, or get OUT OF THE WAY!

Do we have one of those guys yet? A leader, a take charge, take no prisoners type guy? Don’t know yet, but we better find a few quick. Just a few good men…

So now we got Oregon.

Many Dawg fans are hoistin’ up the white flag, while others are headin’ down to Eugene expectin’ a win and to support the boys. I know who I want to go to war with…

Ah yes Eugene. Kinda’ a special place, don’t cha think? I suppose the best way to describe Eugene is just to liken it to a third world country. But I do remember my last trip down there. It was November 16, 2002. We parked in that Boy Scouts lot, so the place did have a sort of American feel to it.  The Huskies had not won on the road all season long, and the season was coming to an end, with only the Apple Cup remaining. A winless road season was being expected by most of the faithful. Eugene was wet, nuthin’ unusual…

Yup, I remember that game well. I was sittin’ up in top row of the Husky section. Sitting with Maw and Paw Groinman and my ol’ side-kicks Deputy Mikey and Desk Sarge Deano. Planted there in the driving rain. Deputy Mikey, Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? Good Dawg Almighty those were the days. I’ve got that game on tape. Groinman’s the dude in the Cowboy hat makin’ a complete fool of hisself…

But I was in the top row, how I do digress…

The Ducks get the ball first and quickly shred the Husky defense. The Ducks are about to score when it looks like the Husky luck might change, Jason Fife, the duck QB was feelin’ the heat, he threw an ill-advised pass that hit Washington’s Nate Robinson right in the hands. Nate had nuthin’ but 90 yards of green real estate in front of him, it looked like payback for Kenny Wheaton’s ‘Miraculous Interception’ from ’97!

But no, as Husky luck would have it, Nate drops the ball. Sound familiar? A couple plays later, 7-0 Ducks.

Washington starts its first drive deep in its own terriortory due to a dumb penalty. A third and one attempt, stuffed for a two yard loss. Have we been here before?

Derrick McLaughlin came in to punt, and punt he did, he blasted an 80 yard missile that ended up on the Duck two yard line. That punt is a Husky record that still stands to this day.

Oregon then goes on a 98 yard drive to take a 14-0 lead early in the first quarter. Deja-vu?  The Duck crowd was in a frenzy, and the Huskies looked destined to continue the winless road streak…

And the rains continued…

Sound familiar? But wait!

Jason Fife starts to feel some heat. Being from Fife, I was diggin’ on that… The Husky defense awakens from its slumber! Cody Pickett starts to get hot, but then the holding penalty of course. It looks like we just can’t get out of our own way. It was lookin’ like punt time all over again, but then Pickett hit Patrick Reddick on third down for a 23 yard gain. Still, it was one stinkin’ yard short at the Duck 35. The Dawgs, down 14, decide to go for it on fourth down. Pickett hits Rich Alexis on the option for a six yard gain, time to move the chains! A 12 yard pass to Braxton Clemen got the ball down just outside the five yard line. Rich Alexis then bulls over for the score. The Dawgs are on the board, and about to get down to some bidness.

The Husky defense then feeds off the Husky offense. It’s like they took out their individually  owned cattle prodders and prodded theyselves! Fife gets sacked, twice! The Dawgs get on a roll and score 35 more unanswered points, a 42-14 satisfier.

And just when you thought it was over…

The Duck fans started leaving early, in droves, it was a beautiful site. Yup, the only dancing done that day, was Dawg dancing…

So we get some news this week on Locker, a broken rib as in one, singular, not plural. Still he’s out. Enter Keith Price. As for me I’m getting a lather worked up to see what Price can do. Watchin’ a beat up Jake get rolled out week in, week out, was getting’ down-right disturbin’.

 Nuthin’ like a mid to late season quarterback controversy, just to spice things up just a notch…

Now ya’ know, I gotta tell ya’ this. The last time we rolled out a backup quarterback against the Duck was back on November 1st, 2003. Casey Paus came in for Pickett who had suffered a thigh bruise. Sound familiar? Well Paus came in and had his ‘signature’ game, a near replica scoreboard game of the year before. A near Déjà vu’ scoreboard. Yes it was a signature win, a 42-10 stompin’ of the duck…

A backup quarterback comin’ out and winnin’ a game, playin’ like an All Star? This should come as no surprise to any casual Dawg fan. We’ve already seen it this year, last year, and the year before that, and the…

Meanwhile, back at the Boy Scout Camp…

The rains continued to fall…

And the celebration was just getting’ started. Ended up somewhere in Portland as I remember…

Holy crapes…

Ya’ know, now that I think about it. There really is not a more beautiful place than Eugene Oregon. Eugene after a Duck loss…It has that special kind of feel to it. What’s more, it has that special kind of smell to it. A really special kind of moment. It’s true. I really do think that we all should enjoy that special kind of moment…



GRUMBLINGS: The lack of any perceived emotion is disturbing. Some ask if Sark has lost control of the team. I don’t think so. But the proof is in the puddin’. What can he do to grab a win? Well, takin’ the field with their hair on fire with smoke blastin’ thru their pants would be a pretty good place to start…Now scroll down…

GOOD NEWS: Our ‘featured Dawg of the Week’ last week was Indy, now thanks to one of you, Indy has been adopted and is now livin’ the dream! This weeks featured Dawg is…Lady Nila!





Lady Nila is a sweetie girl who loves sports and play. A soft short coat for low maintenance. Likes to run and ski then curl up in front of the fire. Will keep the ducks out of the yard too. See Lady Nila at www.wamal.com


Lee Groinman can be reached at malamute@4malamute.com

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