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Now Let Me Ask Ya’ This; You Really Know What Time It Is?

This is Officer Lee Groinman. That’s Right Washington’s Most Irritated Cop

Ya know it was the Holiday Bowl Eve. Christmas was over, yet I still had some Bah Humbug in me. I get home late from the Bad Boy Motel, can’t sleep anyway so I go onto them Husky message boards, or the insult/argue boards, your pick. By now it’s nearly the middle of the dang night and I see the chat room is open. I also see that two fellers are in the chat room in this, the middle of the night, all by themselves. Now I ask you, what are two fellers doing in the chat room in the middle of the night all by themselves, unsupervised?

Playing ARMY!

This would never happen in prison…

I suppose some folks just can’t handle the stress and the anxiety of this Holiday Bowl bidness…

Well I’m kinda’ stressed and anxious on account of this Holiday Bowl bidness so I wander down into the actual messages and what not. There’s this thread about Danny Shelton announcin’ his college choice on that over blown High School All Star game.

We got a fist full of fellas opining that Shelton is using this opportunity to be out of town to announce he’s going to be playin’ out of town.

Steely Dan once wrote a song about this twisted thinkin’. They called it ‘Pretzel Logic.’

Could it be that the big ham wants to use the big stage to ham it up? Get the biggest bang for the buck?

Me thinks so, now I liked ‘Pretzel Logic’ just as good as the next guy…Anybody know what a Steely Dan is? Never mind, this is a family show...

Come to think of it, Pretzel Logic should be the bumper music for those message boards. Works for me. I remember the early years with those boards, back in the glory days as it were. Dawg fans then were really pumped to have such a tool, now they’ve become a home for tools. I do believe we are takin’ the message boards for granted now, the novelty has worn off, just like indoor-plumbin’. The message boards resemble more of a sewer these days. Much like society in general. Gone are the homer boards, now those were the days. I suppose one day soon we’ll be able to trade insults with our own voices. Imagine telephone mouth pieces hooked up to your own PC, then message boards with recording capability.

Won’t that be wonderful…Well, a wonderment, maybe…

Ol’ Coach Baird gets up and posts his ‘Coach’s Corner’ piece. In normal Baird style he lays out his plan, his scenario for a Dawg win, typical Baird, it’s where he lives. He gets slammed by many of the message board faithful…

There was a saying back in the day; If ya had nothing good to say, say nothing, or as Maw Groinman would say; “Keep your trap shut, Lee.”

Too bad those manners don’t apply to message boards, you’d think people could rally it up for a Bowl Game, but no. It’s just so damn easy to be a downer, and it has no cost, whereas stickin’ your neck out for your own team, the underdawg as it is for this Holiday Bowl, takes some stones, it has a cost. We know where many will go. Fourteen points?

Yup, if you have to be a Debbie Downer, could you just keep it to yourself, at least until after the freakin’ game? Then feel free to boast about how smart you are, it’ll make you feel so much better…

It seems to be such a Seattle-thang. Maybe a lack of Vitamin D. Consult your Physician…

Lord have mercy, seems I’ve taken a nasty pill this mornin’. One thing for certain, this Husky ball team ain’t going into that Holiday Bowl expectin’ to lose! And I suppose that’s what it all boils down to for me. Ya’ see when I was competing I always expected to win. The thought of going in and expectin’ to lose? That was for the flea-bitten barf bag types. They was the ones you went in and BEAT!

Show me a feller who expects to lose, and I’ll show you a loser.

If you expect to win, do you win every time? Hell no. Just that your chances go up some…

And what kind of guy gives hisself a handle of somethingorotherdawg666? Talk about expecting to lose, the guy actually knows he’ll lose! Lord have mercy…

Well that’s about enough about losing and losers…

One thing I’d like to see is for this upcoming Holiday Bowl is Nick Wood getting moved back to the defensive line. Lord knows we need all the bodies we can get there. Nick is nearly 290 pounds and is country strong. I haven’t seen him get a lot of time on the offensive side of things, haven’t heard his name mentioned much at all. Maybe this will be one of the Husky ‘surprises’ for the Huskers.

If I was Nick Wood I just might go up and introduce myself to Nick Holt, refresh his memory a tad. “Hey Coach, remember me? My momma named me after you.”

Hey, it’s not like he’s never been there before, and the defensive line just might need the help. Ya think?

It hurts me to say this, but I believe we’d handle Nebraska if we still had Semisi Tokolahi on the line, gonna be hell without him, but as my ol’ coach from West Texas always said;

“Fellas, there is no one player on this team that is indispensible, that’s why the good Lord gave ya’ a set of two, now you know what time it is?

That’s right, nut-cuttin’ time…”

The ol’ boy had a knack for holdin’ your attention. Wore nice boots too…

Well, I do know this. This Husky team knows what time it is. Yes Sir!

So what about the Husky defense? A defense that has taken some hits, but ya’ know what puts a grin on my face? These guys have developed some ‘tude. They’re partying like its 1984. Semisi Tokolahi didn’t hit his stride until late in the year, and none too soon, he became Alameda Ta’amu’s best friend. Now if Sione Potoae can now hit his stride…

Nebraska just may be wantin’ to know what time it is…

Gonna be time to turn Jake loose, roll him out of the pocket, throw on the run. Use all the weapons, a steady diet of Jermaine Kearse, and I see a big game by the Flea, D’Andre Goodwin. Goodwin gets lost in the crowd and then busts a couple of big ones. Jake puts on a show, but in the end we do win this game with a heavy helpin’ of Polk Salad.

Sure glad Cort Dennison is ready for this, the rematch. Couldn’t come at a better time for the defense. Look for monster games from both Cort and Foster. Then there’s this guy named Wood….

It’s gonna take a brilliant game plan.

But that’s what we paid for…


GRUMBLINGS: Yup. I know exactly what time it is, and I know how tough this is gonna be. But it is NOW TIME that we all just do a Rodney King and all get along just for this one Holiday Bowl! That’s Right! Put on those purple colored glasses, that purple shirt and go for it, enjoy the show, a homers delight…no Kool-Aid required.

Well hey, we still have these four fellers ready for adoption, a Fearsome Foursome fer sure!

Click to Enlarge or see my Photo Album. Finn, with two ‘n’s’.  Plus Click to Enlarge or see my Photo Album. Ace… 28KB. Click to Enlarge. Kona, and of course, Swift. Click to Enlarge or see my Photo Album.

These fine dawgs can be seen at www.wamal.com. Kenneled at Holiday Kennels in Kent WA.  You may also foster these dawgs. Foster means that you’ll take the dawg home and wait for him to get adopted on a permanent basis. This keeps him out of the kennel and in a home setting.  You’ll’ just end up keepin’ him anyway…. “Come on honey, it’s just on a trial basis...”

These dawgs have already had their nut-cuttin’ time, it’s included in the donation…shots too, micro chipped, collar, the whole nine yards.


Lee Groinman can be reached at malamute@4malamute.com

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