Washington's most content cop
This is Officer Lee
Groinman. That’s Right, Washington’s Most Content Cop…
Sounds sorta’ like a cow, now doesn’t it?
But hey, I was already the Most Satisfied Cop last week, so what
ya gonna do? Nothing has changed. The Husky Basketballers rolled the
Oryguns, and that always feel good, setting team records for consecutive
Pac 10 wins in a row. And counting….
Now James Sample announces the Dawgs as his
college choice at that High School prima donna game, some more exposure.
My Eastern Washington Eagles take home a
National Championship Trophy by defeatin’ Joe Biden’s Delaware Blue Hens
in Frisco Texas in Pizza Hut Stadium. Sounds kinda like a joke does it
not? I mean I can’t lie here in these here stories of mine, so I gotta
tell ya this.
I had never heard of ‘Frisco’ Texas. And
what in tarnation is a ‘Blue Hen’? Who would name their athletic
team the Blue Hens? Might as well call yerselves the ‘Cute
Chicks’. Holy Crapes. No wonder Biden is a Blue Hen, it all seems to
make sense now, things are much clearer now. Them Blue Hens didn’t look
all that cute to me. But hey the media folks was all over that Blue Hen
stuff. I was amazed they even pronounced Cheney right and they even knew
it was ‘by Spokane’. They also knew ‘Frisco Texas was ‘by Dallas’. Well
it seems they one upped me there…
I suppose that’s why they make the big
bucks, and I’m writing from prison…
“Pizza Hut Stadium”? Combo vs. pepperoni.
Now if only Ivar Haglund was still alive…
Yup, Eastern without a doubt probably played
the best second half of college football ever played on the face of the
Earth. Why I nearly turned that sucker off at half time being down 19-0
Now I never give scores out in my stories,
but this bit is about Eastern, so I suppose it’s okay…
Eastern scores in the third quarter to make
it 19-6. Everybody, even those ‘experts’ in the booth were relieved that
now little Eastern had scored and would not suffer the embarrassment of
being shut out. Then the poor over matched Eagles get greedy and go for
two. Go for two in the third quarter? I grabbed my remote control to
increase the volume.
“Are you guys nuts?”
Eastern has had trouble running the ball all
night, and they would still be having trouble into next week against
Delaware’s DL. Delaware been belch-slapping the Eastern runnin’ attack
at will. So Eastern tries to fool them and run for it on the two
Belch-slap. Score remains 19-6.
Nearly cost me another remote too, against
my undefeated wall…
Yup, in the greatest quarter and a half of
football ever played on the face of a Football loving God’s green Earth.
Eastern wins 20-19. The media ‘experts’ in the booth blamed it on the
blocked PAT on Delaware’s first TD. The Delaware coaching staff and VP
Biden blamed it on that fourth down mark. First time I’d ever seen the
booth replay a spot of the ball. They better practice this act a few
more times before they try it again. Seems in this division in play-off
games, replay can be used to spot the ball. Eastern had a 4th
and short late in the game. Needed 6 points for the tie, clock running
out. Eastern figures they’d fool them again and run the ball. First down
by about 6 inches. I thought it was closer than that. Move the
chains! First down Eagles!
The booth calls for a replay, the chains
have been moved! EWU couldn’t get a play off in time. As an Eagle alum,
I knew the ball would be moved back and come up short, game over,
Delaware wins, boys in the booth, most the crowd, and Vice President
Biden all go home happy.
But no! First down by a quarter of an inch!
Delaware calls another time out. They want
the chains adjusted, again, so they did…
Holy crapes. All momentum gone…still a first
Eastern’s Bo Levi Mitchell throws for
another first down. Then tosses his third TD pass deep in the end zone
for the tying score. PAT good, 20-19 Eastern. I always like a
quarterback with the name of Bo Levi. I’m thinkin’ I just may name my
next Malamute dawg Bo Levi…
That Bo Levi can throw the ball, got hisself
a 6’5 receiver too, smooth. Eastern’s top back was out with a broken
The game came down to a 4th and
10 for the mighty Blue Hens? Pass complete for 9 yards, the whole
nine yards came up a yard short. Eastern National Champs!
Of course we’ll be seeing that Bo Levi in
Husky Stadium for next year’s home opener. The wife Gloria says she just
may make me a purple and red shirt for that very game, if I can behave
and all. But hey, if not, Eastern has some real nasty looking
Championship hats ant tees. Just may get me some of those. Husky gear,
the stuff that I see, generally looks so girly for my tastes…
I do of course wear my purple, just so
limited. I’m thinkin’ of startin’ my own line of Husky Gear, ya’ know
maybe some manly stuff, some stuff with the ketchup and mustard stains
already built in, with a bottle opener…”Groinman Gear”. With a compass
and a flashlight…
Don’ look now, but even the Seahawks got
into the act. Limping in as Division champs with the infamous losing
record they knock off the defending Super Bowl Champs, the New Orleans
Gotta say this. It felt pretty good to see that ol Reggie
Bush get his last Saturday, oh sure he’s a Pac 10 guy, I suppose I
should root for him. NOT.
Which brings me to tonight’s match up. Ducks
and Eagles. Pac 10 vs. SEC. Whatcha’ gonna do?
Oh sure, pull for the Pac, western pride
versus east coast bias, those guys in the booth…
All that stuff…
I generally pull for the Pac 10 teams,
unless of course it’s the cougs, I wanted to see the cougs break the
all-time consecutive loss record, just to irritate my coug friends
and relatives. And then I can’t root for anything in LA. Plus I don’t
like that Erickson fella down at ASU, and Arizona is just flat out
psycho, so take them both off my list. Stanford’s a bunch of snobbish
softies so screw them. Then I never liked Oregon State since Jake took
that late hit in Reser ‘Corn dog’ Stadium, and the wife Gloria’s a Beav,
can’t go there. California is a bunch of fruit loops so they can go
stuff it, plus they took some of my recruits, so they can go stuff it
That leaves me with Orygun…
Did I tell you I’m an Eastern Eagle?