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Like A Candle in the Wind…

This is Officer Lee Groinman. That’s Right Washington’s Most Annoyed Cop.

Being annoyed is a good thing, keeps you on your toes. But ya’ know what annoys me? It’s the deal that some folk have with losing. It’s like they have losing in their blood. it makes them feel more secure. Losing is easy, keep the expectations low, you won’t hurt so bad. Color any optimism with a splash of grey; you’ll feel more at home, more Seattle that way. You get optimistic about something around these parts; you can be labeled an idiot. I’ve seen it.

Why it must be some kinda Seattle phenomenon. Could be somethin’ born out of the ‘grunge’ scene. Seventeen years ago Kurt Cobain coulda’ wrote a song about it, this obsession some folk have with optimism and losing…

Of course I’m talkin’ Husky football message boards…

You optimistic about a young unit or player? Why you’ve ventured off the plantation, you’re thinkin’ outside the box, and what’s worse, you may be doin’ your own thinkin’!

Monkey Puckey!

Ya’ know there’s been a lot said about this comin’ year’s offensive line. Some fans think it will be the ruination of Husky football and a new startin’ quarterback. Others say this line could be a ‘surprise’. Still others say they could be good, ‘but remember they are young’. Or my favorite arse cover:

“Assuming they stay healthy”.

How ‘bout this post?

“Next year’s offensive line may be as good as last year’s offensive line, but remember they will be young, and assuming they stay healthy.”

Nominated. Way to step out there on a limb there buddy…

Young? Last year’s OL had two pure frosh. That won’t happen this year, no sir. A couple of true sophs and a gaggle of red-shirt frosh, but I like em. I can see nothin’ but improvement. Why? Three things.

Talent upgrade, that plus coaching and Ivan Lewis.

These guys just happen to have more talent, they’re bigger, faster, and will be stronger than the dearly departed. When that happens, you tend to be better…

There is one more thing, make that two. This new group of lineman are hungry, some like Kohler and Porter have tasted it, others like Atoe, Riva, Tanigawa have just smelled it. But they like it. Charlie Sheen, the Fruit Loop, calls it “Winning”.

These guys know some folk don’t have the faith in them, and that’s a motivator, that and they want to get Polk a rushing record before it’s too late, now is the time, and they know it.

They also know they are the guys to do it, that’s gotta feel good, revenge before it’s even needed.

Gonna be a helluva year…

Yup, I believe this year’s offensive line is gonna do serious damage, I’ll leave out the young and stay healthy asterisks.

Still looking for the first big ugly commit, so many this year, and I want to sign them all. This recruitin’ bidness. Recruiting has many twists and turns, superstitions even creep into the mix.

I hear through the rumor mill that Paul Wulff even brings his own personal candle on his in-home visits now, leaves them burnin’ in the bathroom, kinda’ a down home touch…

If that's true, it must be some kind of NCAA violation, some sorta illegal benefit. I mean if fruit baskets were a violation, Holy Crapes, so to speak, what about bathroom candles? I know I might even feel violated…and I don’t bruise easy…

But when you’re from Pullman, do like the Pullmanians…

Right 00Dawg?

I can hear a coug recruit now. “Look ma’ it’s Coach Wulff, why he’s packin’ two candles.

Too bad we don’t have a two-holer, maybe he’s stayin’ for a double feature?”

Not sure what Wulff’s tactic is here, maybe he’s just tryin’ to mark his territory…

Yup, flush twice, it’s a long way to Pullman…

Yeah, this young offensive line. Heard them referred to as the Cascade Front, or maybe the Cascadians? Sounds like a Rock band from 1963, but it works for me. I suppose James Atoe would be Mt. Rainier, Colin Tanigawa Mt. Baker, Michah Hatchie Mt. Adams. Ben Riva must be Mt. St. Helens, coaches say he’s the one with the ‘nasty’.

Seems like the ‘old’ guys, guys like Senio Kelemete, Skyler Fancher, Dan Kanczugowski, the big Polack, they must be over on the Olympics, The Olympians?

Where do we put Michael Criste? Mt. Hood? Nah, that’s in Oregon, wouldn’t do that to anybody, but hey, Criste hails from California, let’s call him Mt. Shasta. Mt. Shasta is still in the Cascades, it works…

Speakin’ of Oregon, and the Olympics. I just put a new set of Dunlops on my two-wheeled highway cruiser, the torque monster. It was the first semi-good day of the year, so I thought I’d take a cruise up and thru my old stompin’ grounds of a prior life.

The Kitsap peninsula.

Highway 101 brings you near the Norwegian town of Poulsbo. Being a Norwegian you are required to stop and go thru and into Poulsbo. Otherwise you pay da fine. Or I should say ‘uddervise’ just like Grandma.

So dere I be, parkin’ da big two-vheeler outside da place known as da’ “Ruptured Duck”.

Funny name, dat duck. But da name refers to soldiers returnin’ from WW2. Dey wore dis patch, it was an Eagle inside da wreath. Some fellers thought it looked more like a duck, and as dey wuz in a big hurry to get on home, dey flew like ruptured duck. Da patch allowed you to vear your uniform for thirty days as clothes and money ver scarce. Not sure how long dey wore dem underpants…

But I do digress.

They’ve got this sign outside the tavern.

 “TONIGHT ONLY; THE ROOTDOGS”

In smaller letters underneath it read.

“Special legal benefit for the University of Oregon”

I ride all this way and end up at a legal benefit for OREGON!! But hey, they have no ‘W’ in ‘Rootdogs’. That’ll keep Daytrpr happy.

But I gotta check this out. Besides, after a ride like that, you’re thirsty.

A round bald fella with tattoos of “Bite Me” on both guns sits behind the bar.

“I remember you!” He smirks from behind his handle-bar mustache.

“You took ‘Runner Up’ in the 1987 Lutefisk eating Challenge Bowl back at Viking Fest. Gawd that was ugly!”

“What’ll ya’ have? It’s on the house Bub!”

I haven’t been called ‘Bub’ since the Dawgs beat Ucla on that ESPN Thursday night game. As I recall, I ran into some quantities of pizza that night and that girl named April…Is that Lutefisk I smell?

“So what’s up with this Oregon Benefit?  Don?” The barkeep name is Don, Don Duck?

“Oh well heck Lee, ya’ see the ducks are in a bit of the hot water, ducks shy from hot water ya see, well it’s all on account of that Will Lyles fella and the Texas recruits.”

“Hell Don, Uncle Phil Knight has money up his caboose, he can buy a team of Lawyers, why this benefit?”

“That’s the rub Lee, Uncle Phil ain’t touchin’ this, he’s got this thing about lawyers, he won’t come near this. So this band, the ‘Rootdogs’ are doing this bene.”

“Stick around for the show Lee, Try it, you’ll like it.” In Norwegian that ‘try it you’ll like it’ is like a bet or a dare. So when in Poulsbo…

I stick around for the show. The “Rootdogs”; a pretty darn good funky-blues-rock band.

What’s odd, the lead singer and bassist was PRedoubt, I’m just sure of it. Think that’s funny? The drummer looks just like DucksRule1, he’s going by the alias of ‘Domo’. Nice of DR to bring along his girlfriend…

This was the last song of the night recorded live at the “Ruptured Duck.” A tribute to the state of affairs of Oregon football. A real good redo of the 800 year old song, first done in the USA by Ledbelly in 1939, later recorded by some English band in 1970.

Enjoy.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEe3mF4qDNE&feature=player_embedded

Later on in the evening they passed the hat, time to go…

Yup I think this year’s offensive line will be purty good. I think Rocky said it best.

“Who would you rather lose, Habben, Tolar, and Christine? Or Atoe, Criste, Tanigawa, Riva, and Hatchie?”

Sums it up purty good. And we didn’t even mention the tight ends, too bad Locker didn’t have them to use. Locker born a year too early. Let that be a lesson to his momma…

Yup, you gotta like a Tight End named Hartvigson, now bring me Lundquist…ya’ sure.

GO DAWGS!

GRUMBLINGS: Some good news! A few dawgs got adopted this week. Kimmie Kai, Kona, and Shadow. Bonnie and Clyde are doing a meet down near Portland. Now for the bad. Four more dawgs are coming down from Alaska, part of that large group that were found near starvation. The basturds…

THE FEATURED DAWG OF THE WEEK!

TARZAN part 2. Tarzan was adopted earlier, his owner returned Tarzan after the ‘test drive’, and what the heck, he still had the receipt. Tarzan is named accurately, he is a big strong energetic boy, full of pee and vinegar, just like the message boards. Try Tarzan, you just may like him! Never a dull moment! And no cats or ducks in the yard, ya sure ya betcha’

284KB. Click to Enlarge.263KB. Click to Enlarge.214KB. Click to Enlarge.

Tarzan and his pals can be seen at www.wamal.com Ready for adoption NOW!

 

Lee Groinman can be reached at malamute@4malamute.com

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