And The Beat Goes On;
This is Officer Lee Groinman; That’s Right, Washington’s Most Bemused
Being bemused is a good thing, the older
I get, the more bemused I becomes. And for all the right reasons. Take
Oregon for example…
It just keeps getting’ better down
there. Ya’ know I’ve never seen anything quite like it. When the fan
finally gets unplugged, and they hose the dang thing down, it’ll be
counseling time for all things duck. That’s right…
I see Red Cross disaster teams in those
Autzen Stadium parking lots, dispensing all kinds of anti- depressants.
Counselors in white coats, leather sofas, self-help groups, DA, as in
Ducks Anonymous groups forming. Preachers in Sunday morning Sermons
having after service sessions for DDD…
“Delusional Duck Denial”. They may even
need to rename the Willamette river, The Denial.
Interesting how many media hacks, as
well as Duck fans felt that the Will Lyles incident was just some
grey area in recruiting. Maybe grey works if you’re color blind,
or in denial, or maybe even delusional.
Well, in today’s legal system, a little
grey area can go a loooong way…
But, unfortunately for the ducks, the
NCAA is not a court of law. It’s a special club, and the ducks have just
dirtied the pool. They’ve been swimmin’ in their own stuff now for so
long that they can no longer tell the difference, right, wrong, just
Oregon is what you get when greed meets
Yup, Chip Kelly could have paid Willie
Lyles the 25K in cash from his own account The Missus Chip Kelly might
wonder where the 25K went, but nobody else would...
details relationship with Oregon, Kelly")
Chip Kelly; where greed and corruption
Well at least it seems the message
boards have cleaned up! Hardly a duck to be found when I checked in this
mornin’, just our two regulars, It’s as if they’ve all flown south for
the winter. In the first week of July…Back to the e-duck pond,
dirty and polluted as it can be, but Home Sweet Home…none
Yup, the ducks sense of timing is
extremely off…winter in July, Holy Crapes…
The band “Steely Dan” had
coined the term ‘Pretzel Logic’ Some guys, ya’ know guys
like us have gone to callin’ it duck-logic.
I got into it pretty good with some
ducks on the boards awhile back. These guys, duck guys, couldn’t
grasp, they couldn’t get their wings around how the duck Cliff Harris
going 118 mph in a rental car not rented to him, (rented by a UO
employee of course) without a driver’s license, suspended as it had
been, was any big deal. Harris had been stopped three prior times for
speeding on that suspended license, and not once did he bother to appear
for his court date, not once!
Harris’ mom puts a Band-Aid over gushing traffic fines and fees")
Thousands of dollars in unpaid
traffic fines by the young Mr. Harris. The officer allows them to move
on, just change drivers…
“Evening boys! Nice night for a drive
What’s this Mr. Harris, you have no
Oh, why you boys play ball for Chip
Mighty fine man, that Chip Kelly…
Oh! So you just borrowin’ this here
Well you boys better be movin’ along
now, wouldn’t want ya’ to go and miss your mornin’ workout!
Now Just go sign this here citation Mr.
And I’ll go tell it to the Judge, and
Better let one of them other fellers
drive, at least for now.”
But of course the officer let them
move along, not once did any judge issue a warrant for Harris’s
arrest. All this seems normal for any duck fan. Business as usual, S.O.P.
Standard Operating Procedure.
The fact is when you are cited for
speeding with a suspended license, you are arrested. There
will be a warrant issued for your arrest on your last failure to
appear, times three in Mr. Harris’s case.
But never a warrant issued by any such
judge, only in Oregon, but that’s just normal says our duck
So who are these Oregone Judges? Who’s
butterin’ their donuts? Surely not the Pinkerton’s.
Judge Roy Beam maybe? Mercy.
And now, out of the blue, 1620
dollars on his last fine is paid! By Harris’s momma! More payments to
follow? Heck yes! Another two checks in the amount of 4300 came in by
the end of business, both from his parents! Three separate checks in one
day! Why hey, Mr. Harris must have had his “Come To Jesus Moment.”
Maybe not all things Oregone have a bad
sense of timing…
We got those Air Jordan shoes, first
they were given, then borrowed, then just looked at…
A certain LaMichael James, the guy who
likes Air Jordans, can’t pass the Texas high school math requirement. So
Willie just gets him to move on over and cross the state line into
Arkansas, where the math requirement is not to be found. Crossing lines
becomes easier with time. This student is now on the Honor Roll at
Oregon…Way to go LaMichael!
Just normal says our duck trolls.
The Oregon professors really care…
Speakin’ of which, when is the last time
anybody heard of a duck player not makin’ the grades? Ya’ know,
flunkin’ out? Yup, I suppose those Oregon professors really do
But how I do digress…
Lache Seastrunk, the kid with the momma
that didn’t take to Oregon and Coach Kelly? Well Willie just got granny
to sign that Letter of Intent, yup…
Heck, all scouting services do THESE
THINGS! Need a player to go out of state to graduate High School? No
problem. Get granny to sign the Letter of Intent ‘cause momma won’t?
Done deal, line up some Air Jordan’s? Gather up some out-dated
recruiting info to justify the 25K? No sweat. Have hundreds of contacts
with Coach and staff? Get-R-Done…
All recruiting services do these
things, get real. Duck Logic…
But hey! There’s not even an
I see where Coach Baird, Bless His
Heart, says that Oregone won’t be affected by this, in this coming year.
He says that Oregone will stock-pile up recruits the same way SC did. SC
went and told everybody from the water boy to the President that they
would win the appeal. Denial?
How’d that work out Coach Kiffen?
That duck won’t fly for Oregone, it
didn’t for SC either. Oregone, unlike SC doesn’t have dozens of kids in
their own backyard to pick from, hell they can’t even do the
Texas-Arkansas shuffle anymore…
Oh the horror…
I see a couple of our finest are still
looking at Oregone. What’s wrong with kids these days?
Seems Josh Garnett of Puyallup and Zack
Banner of Lakes still want to see what happens with Oregone. Don’t hold
your breath there boys, grab a chair and sit down, this show will get
But ya’ know, I gotta tell ya’ this. It
may get so hot down in Oregone that the rats may flee the inferno, this
could tumble like a house of cards, a towerin’ inferno, or it could stew
I kinda’ like my duck slow-roasted, like
a finely aged bourbon, you get the full bang for your buck that way. A
two year suspension with loss of scholarships can seem like a career,
just ask SC in a couple of years…but a done duck is a good duck…
Yup, Oregone’s sense of timin’ could not
have been worse. The NCAA has been waiting for this day for some time
now. There’s a new Sheriff in town…
Mr. Emmert, meet Mr. err, Uncle Phil
Yes, things are a complete mess down
there at Oregone. The entire athletic department needs to be hosed off.
I think it’s about high time they hired a new Athletic Director, someone
to sweep out the mess. What, they’ve already done that? But now I read
where Oregone is a “Self-Staining” institution. Maybe the first thing
they got right all year…
Yup, ol’ Bill Moos now at WSU was given
a going away present, just take no AD job in the Pac 10 for 10
years, and keep your pie-hole shut. Coach Mike Bellotti is shown the
door with 2.3 million clams, nothing in writing, just keep clam…
Latest update; Josh Gibson, Assistant
Director of Football Operations (ie. recruiting coordinator) is
mysteriously and suddenly no longer employed at Oregone. I don’t suppose
there would be any hush money involved, nah, but I think Chip knew him
as Joshua…Hello? Now Gibson is still on the staff, just on vacation?
I think we all need a vacation….
How many football guys suddenly disappear
then reappear in July? Mercy sakes…
Don’t worry folks, Garnett and Banner are
not going to Oregone, they never were, but what do you expect a kid to
That would work…
Trust me, I’m from Fife…
The ducks do not win this year in Husky
Stadium, who do you think we are, the Cal Bears?
So Danny Shelton just arrived at the UW this
week for the summer L.E.A.P. Program. First thing he said when getting
out of bed?
“Thank God I’m not in Oregone!” Take note
Garnett and Banner…
Just sick to hear of Deontae Cooper’s re-injury, that knee has got to be
genetically cursed. But thank God for Rick Neuheisel! Rick just sent us
Kyle Lewis the 6’1” 195 pound athlete. Lewis will now be placed on
offense for sure. Neuheisel sent us Josh Shirley last year just in time
for fall camp. Don’t know what it is with ol’ Rick, he must have a guilt
complex or something, he just keeps sending us these kids. Whatever it
is Rick, just keep ‘em comin’…Cooper, just means more carries for Jesse
Collier, maybe Bishop Sankey can still redshirt, if Willie Wilson or
‘Dub Dub’ can do his shake-n-bake. Gotta like ‘Dub Dub’.
Summer time, time to Ride…Now where’s that
duck and his Harley, gonna blast him off the track…