San Diego State: a Party Brought To You by Larry…
This Is Officer Lee Groinman; That's Right Washington's Most Disturbed
The year was 1978, nearly
35 years ago, the last time this disturbed one failed to view a Husky
Home-Opener. As a season ticket holder for 30 years, my butt has always been
in the seats, yeah, with but one exception, even then I was able to catch
the game on TV, 1981 I believe it was…
But hey! Now it’s 2012 and
Lee here has Satellite TV! DISH Network no less…
But with budget cuts and
staffing the way it is, I can't even take a vacation day to go catch the
home-opener with San Diego State. My Sarge says we have no replacement for a
guy like myself, so I can’t get the day off. Surely in this day and age of
Satellite TV and cable, stream-linin' and what-not, you'd be able to catch a
game, any game, pay the price, just name it. But NOO!!
Thanks to Larry Scott and
his Pac 12 Network, I'll be watchin' this year’s Husky home
opener with San Diego State on the radio. Just like me and the
neighborhood fellas did back in the early sixties in our old tree fort with
the transistor radio…
Only now I don't have no
Only the basement bunker,
or Man-Cave as some would call it. Poor radio reception down there, what
with all the re-enforced rebar in the concrete walls. Need to stock the
supply cabinet too...
And maybe build me that
Yup, for the first time
since Ronald Reagan, I won’t be seein’ a Husky Home-Opener…
Technology, gotta’ love
it…No TV. Could be good for ticket sales, is that the rub?
Some would say just go to a
pub and watch the game. Easier said than done, the coug and duck infested
dives around my place only get two channels: ‘Monster Truck’
and ‘Bass Fishin’…
And cable is no option up
here the mountain country, cable fears to tread these wild roads and
primitive backcountry, nada…
Don't know who I'd like to
bust more, my Sargent or Larry Scott. Guess I'd have to go with Larry,
besides, they'd be some serious consequences and repercussions for bustin’
up a Sarge, well, it ain't really Sarge’s fault anyway, but that Larry C.
Scott, I can fix blame squarely on that pompous mug of his...Yes Sir…
Last year Larry blessed me
with him putting my Huskies in the North, or Polar region. Some have called
it the Bi-Polar region, but whatever flips your trigger...Yup, Larry saw fit
that both newcomers, Utah and Colorado should be placed in the Southern
Region with the cool kids. Colorado had alumni in the LA area don’t ya’
know…And The Bay Area’s got to keep their rivalry with the beautiful people
of LA...Meanwhile us Northerners got to keep our traditional rivalry game
with our sod-buster cousins. Oh yeah, and let's just move that Apple Cup
game to the Friday after Thanksgiving. An 8 am time slot just may come
available...November Twenty-Something in Pullmania…Holy Crapes…
It shivers me timbers to
think of what wonders of wonders the wonderful Larry Scott has in store for
me next year...
Speakin' of Pirates. I
just might add the cougs and BYU to my bettin' pool this week...
Oh, and Lord Have Mercy! If
this Larry Scott and work bidness wasn't bad enough, our Administrative
Assistant (must be capitalized don't ya' know) she comes up to my
duty station at work yesterday, yup, here she comes all glamorous and all in
her finery, as if to rub it in that my weekend vacation to the Husky
game was denied...
I couldn't even make this
one up folks...
Here she is, this big ol'
fat chick, no tattoos either, what else could ya' want fellas??
She's wearin this triple XL
bright red crimson coug shirt, that and with an oversized Oregon Duck
shoulder bag! Stuffed to over-fill with God-Knows-What…Just when you think
you’ve seen it all…
Crimson red and puke green…
Now I've seen a lot in this
business, and it takes a lot to shock me folks, but I had no words to combat
that visual horror...I was stammered, stammered to the point of
"Could you just please go
and stand next to that holding cell for a photo op?" I asks this
"But why Lee?" "Because
trust me, nobody’s gonna’ believe this!"
They say Hell hath no fury
like a woman scorned...
So I'm putting my money on
BYU…well, most of it…
And the Dawgs. Last I
looked these Dawgs were 14.5 favorites. Seems a bit on the light side…
Speakin’ of ducks, Groinman
here has a little prediction on the sanctions. Nuthin’ gonna happen this
week…patience is a virtue fellas…
I really don’t see San
Diego State stopping Keith Price and this Husky offense one bit. I think we
may stop ourselves on the occasion, like we’ve never seen that before, but
really folks, these Dawgs should hang 50 on the Aztecs. Just might catch a
glimpse of Derrick Brown at quarterback too. I like that kid. The new kids
on the block, QB’s Jeff Lindquist and Cyler Myles will get their red-shirts…
The offensive line will be
the best we’ve seen since the Slickster left town. Gettin’ Colin Tanigawa
back was huge, but expected in my book. Erik Kohler gave us all a scare on
the very first day of fall camp by popping out his knee cap, but ya’ know,
that kid just likes to do stuff like that… Drew Schaefer is Steady Schaefer,
Ben Riva is gonna open some eyes, and my favorite - James Atoe, goes
Beast-Mode, and from the two-deeps mind you…
Bishop Sankey and Jesse
Callier will both top a hundred yards against these Aztecs. Willis Wilson,
AKA ‘Dub-Dub’ will get some carries. Not many see it comin’,
but here she is folks. Some smash-mouthed Husky football coming to a Stadium
And no, this won’t be any
dad-burned repeat of that ‘Basketball-on-grass’ Alamo Bowl, brought to you
by ‘Weed-n-Feed’. No sir!
Now this San Diego squad
can put up some points, and won’t it be fun to see good ol’ Ryan Katz again,
welcome to Seattle Ryan, gonna be a good show, maybe the best home-opener in
recent memory, well wait, there was that Eastern game…
Speakin’ of which, why it
does concern me some, what with our interchangeable safeties and
Linebackers, smallish on the outside, but fast…
Why these here Dawgs are
gonna play some DEFENSE!! The Dawgs defense are gonna show more
packages that a strip-mall Santa!
We gonna party like its
1984! They gonna play ‘Holt-lessly! Fire at will folks! Some say that
this new defense will be innovative…well I hope it’s not as
innovative as the Pac 12 Network. Guess I’m just an old-school type guy.
Give me Root Sports or FOX any day. Why I wouldn’t even care if
Laverne and Shirley were the commentators…
Gonna be Shaq Thompson’s
first game too, The Shaq. I see he’s gonna be returning kick-offs.
Probably take the first one
to the house…
Too bad I won’t be there to
see it with ya fellas.
Got me a tree-fort to go
Now you go on and open up a
40 ounce can of Home Opener Whoop-Ass and let ‘er RIP!!
Think I’ll just go and have
a tail-gate in my own yard, complete with ALL the
trimmings with the Jeep and my Malamute Bella. That’ll impress the
neighbors. Especially that demented one with ‘ZERO’ sticker in the
truck window. Darn fools…
Yup, we got Rondeau on the
radio, here in Jeep country…
Have a seat Larry;
make yourself at home! Never mind the
“Nothin’ says I
Love you like a wind sock.”-Dawgman.
Some of you may remember my ol’ buddy Mikey, AKA ‘Deputy
Mikey’. Mikey suffered a serious stroke back in mid-July. He has been in a
coma ever since, has not uttered a word. So un Mikey like. He is currently
in a rehab center in Idaho. The blood-pressure got the best of him. He will
never be the same. Prayers and thoughts are welcomed by the family. How
about we all get that blood-pressure checked before kick-off? Just a
Lee Groinman can be reached at