Purchase Info

Articles
    Archives
    Season 2000
    Season 2001
    Season 2002
    Season 2003
    Season 2004
    Season 2005
    Season 2006
    Season 2007
    Season 2008
    Season 2009
    Season 2010
    Season 2011
    Season 2012
    History Articles
    Spoofs
    Football 101
Dawg Food
    Schedule
    Links Page
    Statistics
Site Development
    About This Site
   
Cast
     Contact Us


                      

Lightning in a Bottle;

This is Officer Lee Groinman, That's Right, Washington's Most Satisfied Cop...

As luck would have it, no, not Andrew, just plain 'ol luck, I had an extra ticket for last weeks ESPN's Thursday Night Special with Stanford...Seems I have an extra ticket for just about any game these days, but we can talk more about that later...

So what to do? I thought I'd offer it up to some long lost friends, if that didn't work maybe I'd give it to a relative, maybe an uncle or a cousin, if that didn't work maybe one of my neighbors, if that didn't work, maybe somebody from the Harley Club, maybe somebody from the Tavern League, maybe somebody from the church social group...

Maybe somebody from Dawgman's 'Ticket and Trade' board?

Maybe a scalper from outside the Stadium?

Tough to unload one ticket these days, what with the economy and all. Then I'd thought about (heaven forbid) not going to the game and offering up both my tickets to Johnny Q. Public as a 'Buy One, Get One Free' promotion. No bites. I even threw in a free beer...

I just couldn't fathom the thought of not actually going to that Stanford game...When that basturd the wasp stung me upside the head last month, it kinda' got me to thinkin'. Now doing your own thinkin' is always a dangerous proposal, often with serious consequences and repercussions. But when it finally dawns on you that you'd nearly attended your last game, you kinda' want to attend the next game, if ya' know what I mean...

Besides, I had the 'feeling'. I could feel it...

So it's now noon on game day. I've got the Highway Cruiser all ready to go, washed and waxed with a full tank o' gas and a cooler in the trunk, complete with a Subway foot-long...

I'm set, a box of tunes in the passenger seat, going solo to the Stanford game with an extra ticket. I strap on my seat beat and hit the ignition. My cell goes off, a text, what now? I nearly can't stand to look...and the text says:

'Still got ticket?'

'Yup'

'Meet U there.'

I had no clue as to who this guy is, just some Joe by the name of Phillip. Now who in the world would call themselves 'Phillip'? Now if I was a 'Phillip' I would call me 'Lip', or maybe just 'Phil' but ya' wouldn't have to call me a 'Phillip'...

I've now parked near the Clink, it's just past 3:30, not bad, sweet day, nice scenery, good eats and drinks, a few other Husky fans kickin' around. The conversation could use an upgrade...

Husky fan #1;

"Boy this game could get ugly, Stanford's line, both of 'em will blast our guys."

Husky fan #2;

"I know, Stanford beat SC last week and made them look bad."

Lee Groinman;

"You guys post on Dawgman much?"

I did read one real good post there this week, the title went somethin' like this;

"Beat Oregon and Shock the World".

Written by a coug of course...

It was now time, past the time to head on into the Stadium. Still no Phil, er Phillip...

I had his phone number in my cell's memory so I punched it up. 'Where you AT!"

"Sorry Lee, I'm stuck in traffic, I'm hurrying the best a can!"

The thought of missing kick-off just reared it's ugly head...

Nothing like leaving the house 5 hours before game time and showing up late. I'm thinkin' about leaving Mr. Phillip's ticket at will call, he's still not here. Too late, kick-off just happened. Lee not happy. I call Mr. Phillip back;

"Look Phil, I'm going in, I'll leave your ticket at will call."

"Wait Lee! What do you look like?"

"I'm dressed in a black hat, black glasses, black shirt, black boots and socks, it's a blackout.."

"Lee! I'm right behind you!" I turn and spot Mr. Phillip..

There we are, face to face talkin' to each other on our cell phones..

Well, not exactly 'face to face' seems Mr. Phillip was a good head taller than me.

"Holy Crapes Phil! How tall are you?"

"Just a hair over seven foot-one..."

"Damnit! I don't like guys who show up late and who are over seven feet tall!"

"Sorry Lee. Could I give you another five bucks?"

"Let's go!" We had a mountain to climb to get to our seats. We'd already missed kick-off and are late. You'd think we were from Seattle or somethin'. What's worse is that I thought I'd have to tie a life-line onto Phil, he was gettin' gassed...

We made our seats. Phil looks spent. The Lemonade vendor is walking by. Phil lurches over two other fans and plucks two lemonades as if they were an offensive rebound. "Take a slug out of this Lee."

"Don't mind if I do, thanks." I drain a big hit. Phillip then grabs my lemonade away from me, pulls a flask out of his boot and tops off the lemonade. "Here Lee, that'll make ya' feel better.." "Thanks bud, er Phillip, Phil."

"Some folks call me 'The Lip'. Got that name from Detlef Schrempf, played ball with Det. I taught 'em everything he knows.."

 

Mr. Phillip, that's 'Phil' to me, likes to make a stand at Husky games....

So this Philip makes more noise than any 12 fans I know. I always leave games with a raw voice, but I've never been sore from ear lobes to bottom. Took six days to recover...

I'm sure the 'blue hairs' behind us appreciated us being in front of them. Phil would yell his hardest while Stanford was still in the huddle, when his noise could do the most 'damage'. By the time the play was over he had blown out his lung capacity, I was trying to keep pace...After the play was stopped Phil would hyper-ventilate while Stanford went back to the huddle, then he'd let it rip, repeat, repeat.

Phil loved to stand for even more volume, at 7'1", the blue hairs behind us didn't have a chance. I do hope they enjoyed the game anyway...

What a game. I do believe that was the best thing I've seen in purple and gold for about 10 years, well, black in this case. "Hell's Bells" was a nice touch too..

I think this team has turned the corner. If there's a football God in Heaven we won't have any other lineman go down with any injury. I could throw in a receiver or two, but please God, no more linemen, okay?

Well all the 'naysayers' had their day, and now they're back with Oregon. Some things just won't change. It's like Golden Tate's touchdown reception against the Packers. Some Seattle fans complain that they don't want to win that way. While an Oregon fan would expect it. Besides, everybody does it...Yup, Seattle people, forget about all the pass interferences penalties, and the roughing the Quarterback calls that kept Packer drives alive. Don't even try to remember the Super Bowl job with the Steelers. We just hate to win that way...

Against the ducks? Whatever it takes, I'll take it that way...

And a good time was had by all, minus the three Stanford fans. And maybe the 'blue hairs' behind Mr. Phil...As we're leaving the game, both of us spent, Phil looks at me and says; "Lee, if you ever have another extra ticket..."

"Yup, I have your number..."

The ducks, now let me tell you this...There's a new twist to this ball game...

Mainly defensive coordinator Justin Wilcox, d-line coach Tosh Lupoi, and 'backer coach Peter 'The Sermonator' Sirmon...

Two upsets in a row? Against two top 10 teams? Can lightning strike twice in nine days? Does a cat have nine lives? If the Stanford Tree fell in the woods at a road game would their fans show up? Errr, better scratch that last one...

Oh yeah, bring it on DAWGS!!

CAN YOU FEEL IT!!

GO DAWGS!!

 

Lee Groinman can be reached at malamute@4malamute.com

Original content related to this site,
including editorials, photos
and exclusive materials
4malamute.com, 2001-2012
All Rights Reserved