The Trip from Aqua Hell…

This is Officer Lee Groinman. That's right, Washington's Most Fired Up Cop...

Ya’ know I've been ranting and ravin' about these late game start times due to the TV God's for what seems like years now. But no, it's only been about a year and a half, but that’s about ten years when you’re a Dawg, then you get home about O'dark-thirty and you're dawg tired, so that just adds to the mix, an older more tired Dawg at O'dark-thirty...make sense?

But now I'm about to throw in the towel and concede to all night games, in fact I would have thrown in that towel there last Saturday night against those Arizona Wildcats, but the damn thing was too heavy, the rain-soaked thing would have probably knocked out some cheer leader, or some ref...

Yeah night games, it's startin' to take me all day just to get to the darn game, might as well make a night of it...

I'm headin' up 1-90 just about at Indian John Hill, there's this Department of Transportation sign that reads; "Snoqualmie Pass 44 minutes".

Now I’ve never known the D.O.T to be a department of Liars, but I suppose there's a first time for everything...

Then we get a DOT sign that reads; "Right Lane Closed Ahead. One mile."

They got that one right, 'cept the whole darn freeway was already 'closed'. That one mile took 38 minutes; well accordin' to the DOT I should be on top of Snoqualmie Pass in somethin' like 7 minutes...

The next sign, courtesy of the DOT reads;

"Blasting on Snoqualmie Pass. Lane Closures Ahead."

Yeah somebody's about to get blasted. They got another one right...

Then the weather God's thought they'd get in on all the hilarity...Buckets of rain comin' down sideways. And the accidents, one after another, have we never seen rain before? And why are all these cars with W.S.U. Cougar crap on them all in the ditch and sitting there on the freeway, and all of them bass-akwards?

Oh yeah, the cougs are scheduled to take a whoopin' by the Stanford Cardinal in the Clink Seahawk Stadium. That just may 'splain the heavy traffic at 9 am on Saturday mornin'...

The 'freeway' opened up for a spell. I amped up the Camaro to 73 mph, the rain and all, the Camaro likes to get up and run if ya' don't tether it down a notch...

This 73 mph freedom lasted for about 7 minutes, those same 7 minutes that I, and the DOT had previously had mentioned...

Yup, Snoqualmie Pass looked like a war zone, a war zone all laid out in one gigantic mud-puddle. Boulders the size of small apartment buildings was thrown here and there, the freeway was like a Lake. Standin' water. That 'standin' water' is always a spooky site to behold...

Well, before I knew it, I was over the Pass, yeah right, what'd that take? About three hours? Nearly felt like givin' up a prayer of thanks, but wait. I didn't think it could get worse, but it's times like these that doin' your own thinkin' can be more than hazardous...

The rain and the clouds had teamed up, couldn't tell one from the other, a dynamic duo if ya' asks me... Batman and Robin would be so proud…More wrecks, more cougs in the ditch, more of that spooky 'standin' water'...

Finally around Issaquah things lighten up a bit. At one point I spotted the sun… Must have been a hallucination, I really don't know. By this point, I really couldn't tell...

That Camaro, I ordered that Boston Acoustic 9-Speaker sound system for him, it cost a bit more, but worth it. The Camaro's sound system was playin' some classic Lynyrd Skynyrd.

"Sweet Home Alabama."

"Where the Skies Are So Blue."

A sense of humor, no extra charge...

Oh Lordy, looks like we're about to I-5 now, the BIG freeway! I’ve just got to get over the 1-90 floatable bridge. Trust me, it’s good to be floatable on a day like this, trust me...

On the floatable bridge now, what in tarnation is THIS!

HOLEY CRAPES!! It's hundreds of cougs all dressed up in their red crimson! All wavin' their red coug flags at me! They all got their smiley coug faces on as if to say; "Look at me! I'm a Coug! I’m in Seattle!" Yup, they think I'm a dumb coug all on account of the red Camaro!

I could be a Stanford Cardinal? An Arizona Wildcat? But a coug? All three dress up in red. There's a reason they're cougs...Red seemed to be the color of the day. Soon that Boston Acoustic Sound System will be playin' the Connie Francis song;

Who's Sorry Now" for them cougs...

I'm on 1-5 now, and surprise, surprise, it's a blasted parkin' lot! Bumper to bumper. By now I'm seein' red...

Opportunities do however; present themselves, all in good time folks…

The Arizona team buses, all three of them, the police motorcycle escorts, it’s good to see the Harley's once again. I tuck in behind the last motorcycle cop and put on my cop hat, that last escort spied me thru his rear-view mirror, then I flashed my badge, he gave me a nod and a wink, he figured that I was with the team, that red Camaro and all, with red being the color of the day and all that...

Yup, I was wearin’ Purple, but ya’ just can’t find good help these days…

That Mountlake Bridge, she will stay down for a police escort...

Now at my parkin' spot all safe and secure.

The Camaro's Boston Acoustic Sound System started playin' a new tune…

Led Zeppelin’s "The Rain Song."

Yup, he got that one right...

I do believe that the last time I saw rain like this was in Florida, or Hawaii, or maybe both. Or Stanford… Both times I went to a Stanford game, both night games, I came away water-logged…

The rain coming over the South stands roof of Husky Stadium looked amazingly similar to Snoqualmie Falls. I’d have taken a photo  along about now, but my camera couldn’t see that far…

http://www.snoqualmiefalls.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/falls_photo.jpg

Seems we have a bit of a ‘Snoqualmie Pass’ theme goin’ on around here today folks, hell ya’ never know where these things are going…nor do I…

The price is the same…

So I’ve still got two hours until game time. Thought I’d give my new/old friend a call.

The pretty Penny Pearl.

“Look Lee, you can’t call me until you do what you’ve got to do.”

I got to the game didn’t I, what’d that take, about 5 hours? Women…go figure…

That Camaro’s Boston Acoustic Sound System decides to get back in the act. This time it was the Georgia Satellites;

 “Keep Your Hands to Yourself.”

“No huggy No Kissy

Till Ya’ Make Me Your Wife…” 

Smart ass…It was time for the Husky Honks anyway…

I’m startin’ ta’ think that maybe we’ve made these new cars just a little too smart, ya’ think?

Hey! That Camaro just flashed his high beams on me, then blew his horn! Either he’s mad at myself or I just sat on the remote start…

Either way, that Camaro is grounded! Stuck in the garage until October 12th! That’s right!

You Hear Me!

Seems Mr. Camaro now wants to add salt to my wound. It’s the Beatles;

“I Want To Hold Your Hand!”

“I wanna hold your hand!”

“Shut your TRAP! WISE GUY!!”

I figured I’d keep that car forever, doin’ my own thinkin’ once again. Just may renegotiate his contract, right after his bath night…

Now where was I? Oh yeah Stanford…

Epic battle to unfold. These Dawgs may have found their ‘Big-Boy Pants’, just in time. Probably those purple pants with the white jerseys, those new gold helmets were better than I first thought, but Groinman here has always been behind the curve in the fashion world… Seeing Puyallup’s Josh Garnett going 0-2 against the Dawgs alone would be worth the price of admission…

Sark is gonna have to open up the playbook against that Cardinal tree, but it is Stanford, it is at night, and it could rain like Snoqualmie Falls…

The Dawgs have not behind at any point this season. Let’s keep it that way… The Offensive Line, Keith Price, Bishop Sankey, and you can pick any receiver you want, have all come into synch. Call it what you want. The Defense is startin’ to look like a shet-storm on a mission. Welcome to the party Mr. Austin Seferian- Jenkins…

Sankey goes for a buck fifty and two scores…The Dawgs will need it…

Dawgs in a squeaker, 27-24.

GO DAWGS!!

 

 

Lee Groinman can be reached at malamute@4malamute.com

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