Officer Lee Groinman. That’s right, Washington’s Most Disgusted Cop. Plain and
It’s been awhile since the word ‘disgusted’ got
tossed around here, long overdue if ya’ ask me…
You know ya’ get these silly notions in your head,
then after a while, they start to make sense. Notions such as bad calls will
eventually even out (still waiting), and another, the dawgs are overdue for a
break out game, maybe even a road game win. Then notions such as Austin Seferian-Jenkins
will play and even get the results like the projected first round draft pick
that he is in fact predicted to be. These are the type of notions that come in
and take root in your brain…
And these are the types of roots that can run deep…
And my favorite notions. Jim Mora’s luck is gonna
run out and the football Gods are gonna take notice…And Sark is now long overdue
for a signature win, his time is now…
It makes sense. So I’m now I’m set up like a bowling
pin, I’m ready for the ‘big game’. The BIG WIN! And the results are now
Relax Charlie Brown, girls will do that. But this is
The game is supposed to be fair. But as we all know,
that ain’t often the case…
Nobody can accuse the Dawgs of being quick starters
on the road. Last Saturday was yet another fine example. A turnover on the third
play of the game, a quick Ucla score. The second drive results in yet another
quick turn over, and another quick score. Two turnovers by two of the ‘best’ UW
Then the UW’s starting QB Keith Price is knocked out
of the game before half-time. Cyler Miles gets thrown into action on the road
without having thrown one ball in live action. Now whose fault is that Sark??
Not one pass…
Speakin’ of Keith and Cyler. I’d go with a healthy
Cyler Miles, rather than a half beat-up Keith Price…But I wouldn’t let Beaver
Coach Mike Riley know anything before kick-off. It’s a game day decision there
Oh yes, just one more thing for now, a nice TD
called back by another phantom call. There’s 21 points right there, and we lose
So now the Pac-12 office informs Coach Sark that
this ‘phantom’ hands-to-face call on Dexter Charles should not have been called.
So what’s the deal? Do we get to put the seven points back on the board? Maybe
replay the second half?
No and no. The official to blame won’t even get a
letter in his file, and Larry Scott will cash yet another paycheck…So sick of it
By now I’m wonderin’ if the football Gods are even
awake in the Pacific Time Zone…
Oh sure, we had plenty of stupid penalties, legit
calls alright, like gettin’ our fingers stuck in bruin face masks, on third down
no less. It’s enough to drive ya’ bat-sick…How do you do that?
I think the play that really popped my cork was the
forced fumble on third down which we didn’t recover, and ended up giving Ucla an
additional 12 yards, and yet another first down.
I just can’t go there right now folks…
The UW big road games are a classic study. Take
Stanford, the UW gives up the opening kick-off for a TD. The margin for victory
is already on the board with 12 seconds played.
Against Ucla, the two quick turnovers result in a
near instantaneous 14-0 lead. We end up losing by 10, but in reality the game
was already over before the first potty break…
These boys just aren’t ready at kick-off, their
brains are just set a little slow. Maybe it’s the change back to Standard Time.
Set their clocks and watches ahead 15 minutes.
Never under estimate the easy and quick fixes fellas…
You may or may not want to try these quick fixes at
home guys, it may work on some women, but not all. Besides, I’ve now retired
from my marriage counseling gig…the results were questionable at best. But I
thought I done purty darn good on most of those train wrecks…
Speakin’ of train wrecks, this year’s bi-annual
wreck in Pasadena came to another fitting end. Too little, too late, too much
ground lost, way too early…
But the two early turnovers? Now that was just good
football on Ucla’s part, not so much good football on ours, but good head’s up
play. Ya’ gotta be ready for stuff like that…The boys played hard, I’ll give
But once again, the UW was not ready. Time for more
Now where was I? Oh yes, Oregon State, my how I do
The Oregon State Beavers find themselves in a
similar boat as ours. They need to win to get a Bowl game. Let’s hope those
beavs chew a whole in their boat and we bring down one our National Champion
Crew shells. Those crew shells are made out of aluminum don’t ya’ know…
But those Beavos. I remember taking the old retired
‘Paddy Wagon’ down to Corvallis for the bi-annual beat down of the lowly Beav, a
rodent don’t ya’ know…
We used to camp the Paddy Wagon right down next to
the Willamette River, right in the middle of town.
All these Beaver fans would walk by and look down
and wonder what that Paddy Wagon was doing down next to the river…
“Who are those guys?”
Yup, those were the days, nothin’ but fun and a
low-pressure football game followed by more good food and even more fun.
Now, these days, a trip to Corvallis resembles an
old Rolaids TV commercial. “Rolaids Moment Number 49’ or whatever…
It just seems that nothin’ can come easy these
And that Beav Coach, Mike Riley, another guy like
Jim Mora that could have possibly been the UW Coach. He’d now be sitting at
Sark’s desk, and where would Sark be? But no, it didn’t happen.
The fickle finger of fate…
That Coach Riley, like Mora he’s after one of our
local kids. One of my Fife boys Kaleb McGary, and McGary is said to like
Corvallis, that country living and all. Of course, most the country is after
Kaleb, but still, I’m starting to not like this Riley character even more. Then
he’s got this cool and collected side line demeanor about him, and then ya’ got
Sark with his ‘deer-in-the-headlights’ look.
Nah, actually Sark has this “Oh shoot! What’s gonna
happen next’ look.
I know the look all too well, it’s the same look I
wear while watching UW games on the TV…
So what’s gonna happen come Saturday night in
Corvallis? This could very well be coach Sark’s most important game to date. And
this time we mean it…Some say Coach Sark’s coaching seat is getting hot, lose in
Corvallis and I think we’ll see sparks. Lose the following week and I do believe
we’ll be looking at flames…But one game at a time fellas. Will the Dawgs come
out hungry and be Beaver beaters? Or will Lucy pull the ball?
With this bunch ya’ never can tell, but that’s why
we play the game…
I’m seeing a game winning field-goal, possibly
Dawgs 31, Beavs 28.