Horseshoes and Hand Grenades….No Cigar…

This is Officer Lee Groinman; That’s Right, Washington’s Most Disgusted Cop….

Walking out of Husky Stadium after that Cal give-away program, er game if you will, was one of the lowlights of my Husky experiences. No it wasn’t as bad as Chuck Nelson’s missed field-goal which cost us a Rose Bowl birth. Back then, after that game, why I couldn’t even get out of bed till noon the next day, and then nearly had to call in sick that coming Monday morning, no this Cal game was not that bad, but close…

I was up at the crack of eleven…

But hey, it’s not so bad at all this year… why there was that last minute Coop fumble which cost us that Arizona game late last year, but yeah, we are only 33 days away from that missed field goal against Boise State which would have won us that game this year, in overtime…so there’s those two this year with Cal and Boise State, but whose countin’…

I am.

There was a poster on Dawgman who posted after the Boise State game’s ‘Fail To Win’ game…

“It looks like it’s GONNA be an exciting year for HUSKY FOOTBALL!!”

Exciting if your idea of ‘exciting’ is losing close football games…

As for me, Lee Groinman, I’ve had all of that kind of excitement I can muster, thank you all so much…

But how I do digress...

Ya’ know, I gotta tell ya’ this...Back on December 23rd, it was the night before Christmas Eve, the year was 1776. Thomas Paine wrote the following words;

“These are the times that try men’s souls…”

Yes Sir Tom. Now what is troubling to my soul is that those two losses this year are by a total of 9 points…it just bites me…and the five turnovers against Cal….

Yeah, and those 5 turnovers against Cal are still giving me gas, even my dogs are upset…

Hey, it’s not just the turnovers, it’s the point killing mistakes. Dwayne Washington could have ran backwards in  for a TD had had not a senior made a mistake, not to mention any names, but his initials are, oh hey, I’m getting better now, but it’s lame to blame everything on youth…

I blame many mistakes on my own youth, but hey, we ain’t talkin’ about that now….

I swear, I couldn’t even talk for twenty minutes after the Cal throw-away game. I needed to go for a five mile run, all uphill, but my runnin’ shoes were in the trunk…

My buddy, The Grass Man and myself decided to do the next best thing…We headed into the “Traveler” formerly known as the “Mountlake” for a night cap…

“Lee you gonna be alright?”

“Of Course Grass Man. Have I ever done anything stupid after a ridiculous Husky loss?”

“Well hell yes Lee… Why there was that night in Spokane after that Chuck Nelson missed field goal that cost us the Rose Bowl, oh hell Lee, that was one of your best!! I didn’t know a MG roadster could do that!! That was a classic Lee!!”

The Grass Man finds some humor, not me, no Sir....

“I’m still not laughing Grass Man, but I’m more mature now…” “Okay…”

So we enter the “Traveler”.  The hostess knows us by know and we get a seat next to the Husky Honks while they are doing their post-game radio talk show…

Hugh Millen seems to be buttin’ heads with Dick Baird, or was it Softy…who knows, it was getting heated up, and I was fired up too, it’s all kinda’ a blur right now anyway….but not missing a chance to stir the pot,  I chime right in…and at the top of my lungs, which is pretty damn deafin’… I YELL...

“HEY!! Can we GET some ENGLISH league DAMN SOCCER on In HERE!!”

You may have heard it on the radio, but I think they hit the 7 second kill button….

“Just kiddin’ fellas, bring us all a couple of pitchers…”

Sixty bucks later….

Well ya’ know, a few years ago, back when I was a few years younger than now, I came across a revelation…It was to…

Never to get as amped up or irritated at a loss than the actual players do…In this day and age, it’s a tough thing to do, granted that...but.

The Cal loss still sucks…

But I gotta tell ya’ this. Prior to that Cal game, at the same ‘Traveler’ Sports Bar, and yes I always feel like a traveler, but anyway, I made a statement at the bar, this, just so you’ll know was prior to my first Coor’s Light...

I then sez to the bar….”I’d sure like to take the points on Utah at Oregon!!”

“Have another beer, buddy, no way Utah’s gonna beat Oregon in Eugene…”

And the rest of the bar experts agreed…

I didn’t see those guys, those ‘experts’ again…College football…it’s why they play the game, and to keep the message boards and bar genius in check…

So I’ve always gone with the Dawgs to win, I’d feel like a loser if I did otherwise. I always competed to win, and I’m sure these UW guys do too...

However, I’ve expected the UW to win for too long now, too long and to have nothing to show for it other than a big-assed kick in the gut...

Therefore I’m pulling for the psyche-out, the Dawgs lose going away, reverse Karma, re-do vu-due, hochus pochus, gootchie-goo, I’m gonna pull the rug out on you…The Dawgs just might pull out the win just to spite me, and to call me a ‘Doubting Thomas.’

I could probably handle that....It just might work…

So after 45 years, Husky Stadium is now playing Seattle’s own Jimi Hendrix’s “Purple Haze” as the entrance song…

Took 45 years, but hey they finally got it right…for now…

Oh yeah, one more thing, some of you may have read my ‘Bummed in Boise’ story where I lost my Harley keys? Well today, after 33 days, my keys show up in the mail…

Now if that ain’t an omen, I don’t know what is…

This game is a pick-em. Lee, in my present state of mind is not giving any advice…

I hate to jinx ‘em all the time…..

But I can at least smell the cigar….

GO DAWGS!!!

GROINMAN’S GRUMBLING’S; WSU vs. Oregon…Always a hard pick for me. But even after Jason Gasser’s comment about WSU’s halftime lead against the Bear’s, where he opined; “Cal hasn’t played anybody yet.” Screw you Gasser, you pigeon-tongued geek...beat the ducks anyway…in four over-time’s…

 

 

 Lee Groinman can be reached at malamute@4malamute.com

Original content related to this site,
including editorials, photos
and exclusive materials
© 4malamute.com, 2001-2014
All Rights Reserved